Previously, Osama Bin Laden knocked out Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg, and President Obama defeated Steve Jobs, but the Google Duo held out until the semifinals, when President Bush liberated them. That is officially the oddest sentence I have ever written. Way to go, Washington Post. This is incredibly weird. [Washington Post via Wonkette]

Apparently this thief grabbed all the store displays he could find, and "didn't bother to unplug any cords, so he struggled to get the monitors free." He caused so much damage during his escapade that the owner of the store stated that he would've rather "given the man cash than go through this" mess.

Geez. When someone would rather give you money than deal with the mess you leave after your burglary, it's time to find a different gig. [KSL—Thanks, Fred D!]

I don't know what Smith's Google query of choice was, but in the end it led him to a WikiHow guide on child delivery. And it must've either been one rather good guide or the Smiths were simply very fortunate, because their baby daughter was born without a hitch. The midwife arrived just as it was time to clamp and cut the umbilical cord, but otherwise Smith managed to get his wife through the delivery by himself.

I'm glad that this tale ended with everyone happy, healthy, and Smith's wife announcing that she'll never complain about his BlackBerry addiction again, but it makes me wonder about what happened to the days when people managed to deliver babies without cellphones and Google. [Sun via Slashdot]

It sounds like the couple sought support from their parents before handing their child to a stranger for 2,500 yuan (roughly $366), but it's unclear if that was what pushed their decision. No matter why they did what they did, in the end the pair regretted their decision, and are now attempting to get the child back.

Apparently they may actually even stand a chance of getting the child back because the fellow who purchased him raised some sort of authorities' suspicions and the toddler ended up safe and sound in the care of a welfare center. Other than a truly happy ending, all that's left missing now is word on whether the lovers are returning the cellphone they bought with the proceeds from the child-sale. [Global Times]

Note: The picture above was taken by Micah Sittig, and the cutie in it is not the child from the story.

Note: The pictured router belongs to GitEmSteveDave and to the best of my knowledge isn't the router from this story.

Basically the guy's taped up router-in-a-box fell off his third floor windowsill and caused the person who found it to panic and call the police. An explosives expert squad was then sent in and "neutralized" the threat.

Now, we can laugh about this incident and panic all we want, but I'll be the honest one and say that a router falling from the sky would scare the hell out of me. And I don't even have hell in me to begin with. [Penn]

I guess with that price, odds are that it's probably the kitchen tool. Geez. Talk about a tease after all those borderline-NSFW puns.

This huge, motorized crossbow is fully automatic, meaning it automatically loads, cocks, and fires. It doesn't appear to have a huge range, but it's certainly enough to make me glad it's not widely available for sale. [Ubergizmo]

"It's a ten!" is right. It takes a special kind of celebrity to stoop to doing local car commercials and only come out more likable on the other side. Go get 'em, Wozzer. [Fake Steve]

Apparently the facial movements and accompanying audio are on a 15 minute loop, and they even sing together. Oookay. [Mute Magazine and YouTube via Engadget]

Samantha Tumpach claims that she should not face the harsh punishment intended for bootleggers, because all she was doing is recording family members singing "Happy Birthday" to her sister in the theater. Any footage of the movie screen was completely accidental, according to Tumpach.

I honestly don't care about whether she was trying to bootleg the movie or not, I just plain think she should be jailed for considering a surprise birthday party at a showing of New Moon a wise idea. [Sun Times via Digg]

Photo by Squidoo

[Oddity Central via Geekologie via Neatorama]

Sure, the Wii might actually have a shot at keeping awkward conversation to a minimum, but it faces the same problem that the Commodore 64 had when it reigned supreme: You'll still probably be booted from the TV when the football starts.

Technologizer has collected 10 of the most disturbingly perky tech ads from the 1980s, and it's a fun look at how far we've (sorta) come. [Technologizer]

Yes, I think That Speers is such a horrid person that I had to learn how to say so in Klingon from our intern Don. It just baffles me that Speers actually sounds genuinely proud of his personal pseudo-academic project:

I was interested in the question of whether my son, going through his first language acquisition process, would acquire it like any human language. He was definitely starting to learn it."

It's great that he wanted to see how languages are picked up, but did he not think that there's potential that he hindered his son's social development by keeping focus away from a real language? I'm all for teaching foreign languages early on, but lets make it ones that are spoken on this planet, please. [Citypages viaGeekologie]

Update 1: Turns out that d'Armond Speers is a daily Gizmodo reader and not too excited about what I or some of you have said. To his credit though, he wrote me a very polite email and at no point called me any number of foul words that I might not understand.

Among other things, in his email Speers explained that his son is 15 now and has turned into a great kid. While he didn't remark about which languages his son speaks or studies now (or about how the boy feels about his childhood language experiment), the general implication is simply that he's a happy camper without any social scars.

As far as the main issue went, Speers told me that the only time he spoke Klingon around his son during those three years was when the two were interacting directly. His son was primarily exposed to English in his environment and also observed Speers speaking the language to others, which was why this whole thing didn't work as planned:

This ultimately was the reason the attempt failed, because it was an extra effort for him to speak Klingon to me, that was obviously not necessary because I obviously spoke English.

Clever kid. Why should he be speaking in tongue-twisters to dad when he doesn't have to? Sounds like a slightly-too-early example of teenage rebellion and no reason it shouldn't, because according to Speers, aside from the Star Trek influence, his son had a pretty normal childhood:

Second, just because I spoke Klingon does not mean that I was teaching him to wield a bat'leth or drink black ale. It was a language, and we did normal things that other parents do.

While even after Speers' email (and his unexpected sense of humor), I still don't think that Klingon (or any constructed language) is the best language to teach a child who's still barely grasping his mother tongue, the man behind the story seems a lot more human now. And while I or some of you may not agree with his methodologies or that his child was his subject for study, Speers didn't seem to let his academic curiosities overpower his primary prerogative as a parent. So, final disagreement or not, I take back the petaQ.

Update 2: Original post image removed at the request of the fellow in it.

I've heard the Microsoft Store pays well and all, but seriously, what a dick move for making employees do this. That's what Disney World, Cruise Lines, and Windows 7 parties are for. [YouTube via Engadget]

Keep it tasteless 1984. I've no idea what fine publication this appeared in, but it looks like the sales came out of Mission, Kansas. And no, the 1800 number no longer works.

How much would this ultimate conversation piece have set you back? Just $75, including 3-6 week shipping. That's an insane $150 bucks today. I wonder how many they sold... [Paco Camino and LiveJournal via CopyRanter]

The giant bubbles would be structural, decorative, and be used to project weather info, spectator numbers, and race results. They'd be constructed from of a type of plastic called Ethylene tetrafluoroethylene (ETFE), the same stuff used to build the Beijing Aquatic Centre.

The Cloud has been shortlisted in the competition set-up by London's Mayor, and has been called "a sculptural spectacle, and a celebration of technology" by the senior curator of
architecture and design at the Museum of Modern Art in New York.

The designers intend to build The Cloud using micro-donations from millions of people. One of the architects, who's from MIT, told the BBC: "We can build our Cloud with £5m or £50m. The flexibility of the structural system will allow us to tune the size of the Cloud to the level of funding that is reached."

I hope they get all the cash they need, because that design is straight out of my Sci Fi dreams. [The Cloud via BBC] Thanks Tom!

It's a tale of quite the nutter and I can barely keep the facts straight. Franz A. Wakefield, the injured party, wants to head into the courthouse and face Apple, Inc. and Sarah Jessica Parker, who will certainly be shaking in fear based on the lawsuit:

The suit claims that Wakefield [...] developed a friendship with Parker and "made a trade secret deal" with her to commercialize the iPod classic, nano, mini, shuffle, video, touch and photo, as well as iTunes and the iPhone. The supposed agreement would have granted Parker 2 percent of gross revenues from the products. Wakefield said he asked the FBI to watch over him to ensure the security of his inventions and deal with Parker.

Apparently sexy Sarah must've been talked into cutting freaky Frank out of the deal entirely and told suave Steve all about what would later become Apple's products.

Frank's pretty forgiving though, he even wrote Steve a sweet note:

This letter is to serve as a DEMAND for payment. Otherwise I will seek legal recourse for the immediate cease and desist from the manufacture, marketing, and sale of all the iPOD, iTunes, and Iphone lines; along with pursuing damages from the products sold to date, unjust enrichment caused by the theft, enforcement of the agreed 2% gross revenues on all sales, and any other applicable damages or compensation.

Such a nice guy. I'm sure he'll win. [Apple Insider]

Photo by Celebrity Pictures

The tale behind the auction is that somehow, out of the 100,000 condoms distributed during the Olympics, one guy managed to get 5,000. I guess at some point it sunk in that if he hasn't used a single one by now, he never will. But hey, his loss could be your pile of probably expired condoms. Let's call it the non-gadget deal of the day. [Sports Rubbish]

Less than five bucks for an 8-LED lamp that won't even be a blip on your electricity bill? Why not grab one, especially if it somehow pisses off your teleco? [Uxsight via OhGizmo! via Wired]