A 55-year-old woman taking care of a 13-year-old boy apparently got drunk, and when he wouldn't stop playing Xbox 360, she hit him over the head, and then stabbed him in the stomach with a kitchen knife. She says he stabbed himself.

Miraculously, she didn't get any jail time, just 300 hours of community service, presumably not in a youth center. [Scotsman via MaxConsole, Image via the rhumb line/Flickr]

He was sentenced to 10 years in prison, but it's a pretty sobering reminder of why parents should pay attention to how their kids play games. The usual concern is violence in the games themselves and dumb kids blithely screaming "fag!" at each other, but there are obviously way worse things out there.

I know MySpace purges known sex offenders and many states require them to register all online identities, including Live gamertags, but I've never heard of any particular campaigns where Xbox Live went after them, so I'd be curious what kind of safeguards they have in place, if any. [SF Gate via Max Console]

Geez. What the hell is Microsoft using to punish misbehaving Xboxes? This thing looks worse than the one attacked by a crazy chick and a golf club. But we're certain that if Nic contacts Microsoft and shows them these photos of his naughty Xbox, they're sure to send him a replacement. Possibly even one that works. (Provided, of course, that this damage wasn't caused by Nic when he got the unit back, unrepaired, or by yet another nutty girlfriend.) [Flickr via Nic H]

According to a recent poll (results above/translation below) of Japanese children 12 and under, they really want...

1. Video game software (over 450 kids said this)
2. Pretty Cure goods (over 100 kids said this)
3. Anpanman goods
4. Books (picture book, book, illustrated encyclopedia)
5. Kamen Rider goods
6. Bicycle
7. Toy car
8. Clothes
9. Stuffed animal
10. Video game console

Since many kids have consoles, they just want video games now—that's fair. But clothes? What self-respecting child under 13 wants clothes?? And have you actually ever seen a picture of Anpanman?

As translated by the esteemed Brian Ashcraft over at Kotaku. [はちま起稿 via Kotaku]

Joining the ranks of SCTV, Vancouver's lax pot laws and universal health care in the short list of things Canucks can brag about, this new bundle comes with a 360 Elite, two controllers, Halo 3 and Halo 3: ODST. This will set you back CAD$400, or $380 in USA dollars. It's for sale now, but much like the popularity of hockey, this deal won't last for long, so hop on it if you're going to. [Kotaku]

The Xbox Elegant Edition, though born an orphan, need but look in the mirror to find his parents. But just because you know where home is doesn't mean you can go there.*

* Some details of this story were altered for dramatic purposes. The Xbox Elegant Edition is really just a mod by Sweden design group Industri Repro. It' s an Xbox, reboxed with more fans and stuff. And it sounds like you could write them and maybe even buy and XBEE of your own. [IndustrirePro via techabob]

The Price

$100ish (cheaper at retail)

The Verdict

If you upgrade to the new Xbox 360 Wireless Adapter from the old, 802.11g version, you won't notice any difference while gaming. But media streaming over your home network will see a legitimate speed increase.

For a moment, let's ignore Microsoft's traditionally ridiculous price for their Xbox 360 Wi-Fi adapters. Instead, let's just focus on performance.

Upgrading from 802.11g networking to 802.11n has a few key advantages: range is longer, speeds are faster and, since 802.11n sits on the 5GHz band, you won't interfere as much with 2.4GHz frequencies used by 802.11g and basically everything else in existence.

But there's one big thing that stops 802.11n from being any better than 802.11g for gaming: latency. Overall throughput may be faster on 802.11n (the pipe is bigger), but latency is really no less present than on 802.11g (it takes just as long for that first burst of water to come through). So those quick gaming commands aren't faster on n, and my multiplayer testing (Modern Warfare 2 and Borderlands...it was a real chore) confirmed it. Then again, I didn't really notice any lag over my 802.11g adapter to begin with.

Media streaming, however, is where those big throughputs pay off. Using Connect360, I streamed HD episodes of Mad Men from my Mac to the Xbox. I timed from the moment I hit play to to the first frame of video playback. And the difference was noticeable.
Buffering occurred between 2 and 3x faster, which was well beyond my expectations, despite how fast 802.11n is on a spec sheet. Clips went from taking as many as 15 seconds to playing (rounding up) to actually breaking the 5 second barrier. I'd love to have tested 1080P streaming over Live as well, but my DSL is the bottleneck in that scenario.

Yes, the Xbox 360 Wireless Adapter is still profanely expensive. No, if you have an older adapter (or you're just using some other solution), I wouldn't recommend the upgrade (nor do I think Microsoft is even marketing it that way). But it's nice to see a tangible improvement all the same.

Streams intra network media between 2 and 3x faster

Tiny formfactor still unique to the industry

No perceivable speed increases gaming

It's $100.

Costs half the price of a new 360

It'll set you back a month of dinners at McDonalds

I don't even want to think about what that is in White Castles

Phil Schiller Talks App Approval, Avoids Saying Much of Anything

There are lots of legitimate concerns about Apple's app approval (app!) policy, and in a recent profile in Business Week, Senior VP Phil Schiller goes out of his way to not respond to any of them. Yes, we understand that there are legitimate reasons for having an extensive approval process, and we even appreciate the complication-free results. But Schiller neglected to respond to any of the real problems with the process, like, say, the Google Voice ban. We're always interested to hear an Apple higher-up discuss the App Store, but we prefer it when something's actually said. [Business Week]

Microsoft Reiterates Smackdown on Pirate Xbox Users

In response to Microsoft's mass banning of Xbox Live users with pirate leanings, said pirates are contemplating hitting them with a class-action lawsuit—but Microsoft doesn't seem even a little bit scared. MS's response:

Piracy is illegal and modifying an Xbox 360 is a violation of the Xbox Live Terms of Use. Microsoft is well within its legal rights to ban these users from Xbox Live.

Translation: Hey, you guys down there, you piratey types? Cute lawsuit and all, but you ain't got a chance in hell of winning this.

This winds up in Remainders because the lawsuit is still, as of now, speculative—no such suit has actually been filed. Still, that's about as big an ice burn as you're likely to see from the big MS. [Kotaku]

iPhone Magnification Camera Mod Came From the Recycle Bin

Bummed about the iPhone's lack of zoom? Bummed enough to attach the lid from a pickle jar to the back of your iPhone? Here's a tutorial for how to create a multi-zoom add-on with items found in your recycle bin and a few lenses pried off deceased cameras. It's ungainly as hell, and I'm not totally sure the iPhone's camera is good enough to be worth such effort ugliness, but it does seem like it would work and it even has an external flash. And, of course, we've seen much dumber mods before. [Instructables via Engadget]

Another Anonymous Netbook/Sleeping Aid Hits Wireless Carrier

Another day, another netbook. AT&T brings the LG X120 10.1-incher Stateside to be sold, subsidized of course, through Radioshack.com and the obviously so much more hip brick and mortar version, The Shack. It'll be sold for $180 with a 2-year contract, which requires a $60 per month data charge. As far as specs, it's got a 160GB hard drive, 1GB memory, a 1.6GHz Atom and Windows XP, and in case of emergency will function as a sleeping aid so potent you might never wake up. What I'm saying is, it's in Remainders because seriously you guys, snore. [Engadget]

Here's what Texas-based law firm AbingtonIP says to justify their new suit:

Although modification of Xbox consoles is arguably against the terms of use for Xbox/Xbox Live, Microsoft 'conveniently' timed the Xbox console ban to coincide with the release of the new Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 game and less than two months after the release of the very popular Halo 3: ODST game.

I'm not sure that modding consoles is "arguably" against the terms of use; it is against the terms of use. And why wouldn't they want to keep people from pirating their biggest game of the year?

Certainly, anyone who is banned who hasn't modded their console has a legitimate bone to pick with Microsoft, and there's no defending their heavy-handed banning tactics and their collateral damage. But to suggest they're intentionally banning legit accounts in order to get people to sign up again, well, that's pretty stupid. [TG Daily via Engadget]

The update should propagate sometime today—UPDATE: It's live!—but if your Xbox hasn't given you the good news yet, here's what you're in for:

•Facebook – Update your status to share what movie, game or entertainment you're enjoying, connect with friends and view their Facebook stream, status updates and photos on the big screen – all seamlessly integrated and custom-built for Xbox 360. You can even compare your Xbox LIVE and Facebook friends lists to see which of your friends are on LIVE.
• Zune – Zune video on Xbox LIVE offers a full fidelity experience with instant on HD in 1080p and 5.1 channel surround sound. No waiting for downloads or buffering, it's there at the press of a button. You can also share the experience with up to seven friends through voice chat and Avatar integration on the TV screen – it puts a whole new spin on "movie night."
• Twitter – Stay in the know by discovering, posting and replying to Tweets right on your Xbox 360. You can even view friend profiles, trends and conversations, or search to see who's tweeting about your favorite game.
• Last.fm – Discover more music and explore endless personalized radio stations with Last.fm on Xbox 360. Skip, "ban" or "love" tracks to create your perfect mix-we've even built in "Gamer Stations" with game-related types of music selected specifically for the gaming community (Available in the U.S. and UK)

In addition to these social features, Xbox LIVE will also be debuting "News and More," a new section of the "Inside Xbox" channel, transforming Xbox LIVE into a full-fledged media portal. With a regularly-updated stream of content from MSNBC, The New Yorker and Dilbert, "News and More" brings the latest in current events, arts and entertainment right to your fingertips.

First you'll need to get iXtreme LT, which'll attempt to return your console to a playable state. The catch is that you need to know your CPU code and that the instructions rely on a lot of different (free) tools.

Has anyone used this or another workaround to get their Xbox playing again? [DailyTech via Crunchgear]

So our recommendation is that if you really can't spare the money to buy a new Xbox—which you should really do, since the failure rate still isn't that low—is to make sure you ask the seller whether or not it's been banned from Live. If you're buying it in person, off of Craigslist, make sure you have them plug it in and show you that it can. If you're buying it on eBay, well, you'll just have to take their word. Just be careful, because Microsoft has no pity on you for buying a used Xbox that's been banned. [PCWorld]

Researchers at Iowa State University have designed software that can quickly and simply render a detailed 3D model of a patient's MRI and CAT scan results. The software, called BodyViz, claims two core advantages over similar technologies: It's easier to use, and it's set up to use with an Xbox 360 controller out of the box because, let's face it, to the latest crop of med school grads, old-school mice and trackballs are lame, bro.

Add a couple of stock FPS weapons, hook this thing up to some robotic arms with knives, fire up the laparoscope and bam: surgery, revolutionized. [IA State via BoingBoing]

This week, Gizmodo is exploring the enhanced human future in a segment we call This Cyborg Life. It's about what happens when we treat our body less as a sacred object and more as what it is: Nature's ultimate machine.

To recap, here's what's new:

•Facebook – Update your status to share what movie, game or entertainment you're enjoying, connect with friends and view their Facebook stream, status updates and photos on the big screen – all seamlessly integrated and custom-built for Xbox 360. You can even compare your Xbox LIVE and Facebook friends lists to see which of your friends are on LIVE.
• Zune – Zune video on Xbox LIVE offers a full fidelity experience with instant on HD in 1080p and 5.1 channel surround sound. No waiting for downloads or buffering, it's there at the press of a button. You can also share the experience with up to seven friends through voice chat and Avatar integration on the TV screen – it puts a whole new spin on "movie night."
• Twitter – Stay in the know by discovering, posting and replying to Tweets right on your Xbox 360. You can even view friend profiles, trends and conversations, or search to see who's tweeting about your favorite game.
• Last.fm – Discover more music and explore endless personalized radio stations with Last.fm on Xbox 360. Skip, "ban" or "love" tracks to create your perfect mix-we've even built in "Gamer Stations" with game-related types of music selected specifically for the gaming community (Available in the U.S. and UK)

In addition to these social features, Xbox LIVE will also be debuting "News and More," a new section of the "Inside Xbox" channel, transforming Xbox LIVE into a full-fledged media portal. With a regularly-updated stream of content from MSNBC, The New Yorker and Dilbert, "News and More" brings the latest in current events, arts and entertainment right to your fingertips.

It really does look nice, like an Xbox 360 Elite with military-ish decals all over it. For most of you it's not worth trading in your current Xbox 360 for, but if you're new to the game, or you just want to upgrade from a 20GB drive to the massive 250GB drive contained (and only available) here, it's not a bad deal.

The information is apparently the result of behind-closed-door meetings in the UK between Microsoft and third party developers. Microsoft will be manufacturing 5 million Natals for a worldwide launch in November 2010 (some of those standalone, some of those in 360 bundles), and price is a major concern for the company. Those who left meetings were under the impression that Natal alone will run anywhere from $50-$80 with 14 games included—"impulse buy" territory.

I've always expected that Natal would launch inexpensively, closer to new Wii hardware and PS webcams than an actual new console. But $50 would be a very tempting sweet spot, indeed. [MCV via Kotaku]

It looks like the Amazon 9 a.m. deal ran out (not before I managed to grab one, natch), but the same deal will be running again at 12 p.m. PST, 3 p.m. EST. So don't despair, there's a second chance! Also, Walmart is now featuring the deal online. Man holiday price competitions rule.

And also, anyone who thinks they got the Xbox deal, MAKE SURE to check your order confirmation. If you didn't get a $0.01 discount with the phrase "Lightning Deal" next to it, you won't be receiving a credit. I just checked mine and sure enough, I'm SOL, so I cancelled. [Amazon via Cheap Ass Gamer, thanks Jonathan!]