Kids have always been smart enough to bust Santa if they wanted to. Now that video tools are easy, faith in the jolly fat bastard ends when kids are old enough and curious enough to click record on their 99 dollar flash camcorders. Unless you're an actor with spare time on your hands like Peter, consider this battle lost, parents. [Twitter]

We were raised to be quiet, well-mannered Lutherans. But for Erik, there was nothing quiet about the gospel. In church, he sang as loud as he could. He didn't care what anyone else thought – he was reaching out to the Lord and it was our problem if it made our ears ring.

One Sunday, the rumbling bass and baritone voices in the choir sang, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus," and Erik felt God's presence. That rattle and boom was God's voice literally vibrating his heart. We were still young but it decided everything: he would do the Lord's work and it would be loud.

He enrolled in seminary as soon as he could, spent some time in the Holy Land and discovered that a low-end 25 watt sub could not adequately convey the genius of either John Paul Jones bass work on Led Zeppelin IV or the sermons of that other John Paul. Both required an upgrade to a 125 watt Miller & Kreisel MK II sub.

God understood.

My brother must not have mentioned his acoustic theory of divinity when he was ordained because the Bishop assigned him to an elderly congregation in rural Washington State. The greeting committee could hear Pastor Erik coming from miles away – the sound of a booming bass floated across the raspberry fields and through the apple orchards. Things didn't quiet down after he parked his car in the church's gravel parking lot. Erik rejects silences with a roaringly good-natured laugh and a voice that would feel at home in the Super Dome. The senior citizens responded by permanently notching down their hearing aids.

Pastor Erik didn't mind - he just spoke louder and pointed out some immediate problems with the pretty, white steepled church. First, the 20 year old sound system was not up to the task of conveying God's word.

"This is the Word of God we're talking about," he said. "It needs dignity and a high power 12-inch subwoofer with a neodymium magnet and a vented enclosure."

The Church Elders blinked. Pastor Erik was not like their other ministers.

This young whippersnapper wanted to take this flock in a new direction. It didn't matter if they needed walkers, dialysis or a hip replacement to get there– they were going to hear and feel God's word.

He met any resistance with an out-pouring of Lutheran wisdom. Why spend thousands of dollars upgrading the sound system for a congregation of only 80 people? Because in 1541, Martin Luther himself said, "Next to the Word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world." Pastor Erik watched his congregants closely and asked if they were willing to run the world's greatest treasure through a dusty old sound board that muddled the low range? Would Martin Luther want that?

The Elders decided to approve a budget of $9000 and Pastor Erik set to work.

His first move: bring in Jim Hall, an acoustician who has spent 42 years installing commercial audio systems in the Northwest. Hall and the Pastor huddled near the altar and laid out a battle plan. Hall wanted to deploy a four speaker TOA HX-5 variable dispersion system above the altar to ensure speech clarity. It's what he typically recommended for small churches.

"But it won't rock, will it?" the Pastor asked.

Hall was a little surprised – most churches were content with the HX-5 system. But this minister was sharp. He knew the HX-5 couldn't deliver the low end. The Pastor was asking Hall to push himself, to dig deep and that could mean only one thing: the FB-120B.

The 120B is a crunk-ready 600 watt sub guaranteed to strip the paint off the steeple of any church silly enough to order it. It's exactly what Pastor Erik was looking for.

The system took eight hours to install. They added a 16 channel Mackie 1604 VLZ3 mixing board, an EAW CAZ 1400 dual-amp for the HX-5 and an additional CAZ 800 amp interlaced with an Ashly cross-over for the sub. The final touch: two 1 inch tweeters over the choir.

"It's got to be the best system for a church its size in the Northwest ," Jim Hall says.

To test it, Pastor Erik grabbed the nearest CD he could find: a copy of Veggie Tales left behind by a pre-schooler. He pressed play and the voice of Larry the Cucumber boomed across rural Washington as if Abraham himself had just come down from the mountain to tell the world that he had a new hat and it was made of lettuce.

Pastor Erik heard the music and it was good. It didn't matter what the Cucumber was babbling about. The tune sent its shock waves through his bones and brushed across his soul like a divine wind.

Now and truly, God was in da house.

Joshua Davis is a Contributing Editor for Wired Magazine who wrote about deep sea cowboys and the world's largest diamond heist. (Both of which are being adapted for film.) He's also the lightest man to ever compete in the US Sumo Open.

In space, nobody can see you dancing classical ballet while eating Christmas pudding dunked in eggnog while singing Xmas carols. And with nobody I really mean the Cassini spacecraft.

Send your best entries to me at contests@gizmodo.com with Xmas Wishes in the subject line. Save your files as JPGs or GIFs, and use a FirstnameLastname.jpg naming convention using whatever name you want to be credited with. Send your work to me by next Tuesday morning, and I'll pick three top winners and show off the rest of the best in our Gallery of Champions. Get to it!

Using this interactive app, you can virtually explore the sleigh and learn more about the gadgetry GE has built-in. They have thought of everything—including a wireless medical sensor that keeps tabs on the old man's breathing and heartrate. I mean he is like 200 years old. You never know when he will have a heart attack, fall from the sleigh and crash land in some kids living room. Haha...traumatic. [GE]

Send your best entries to me at contests@gizmodo.com with Xmas Decorations in the subject line. Save your files as JPGs or GIFs, and use a FirstnameLastname.jpg naming convention using whatever name you want to be credited with. Send your work to me by next Tuesday morning, and I'll pick three top winners and show off the rest of the best in our Gallery of Champions. Get to it!

Overcoming Your Physical Limitations:

HAL Exoskeleton: First thing is first. In order to outwit your opponent and score the last minute deals you desire, you are going to need a strength and speed advantage. Renting a Hal Exoskeleton from Cyberdine will increase your strength up to 10x the norm—making it easy to lift heavy gifts and intimidate the weak. Sure, a rental costs about $2,200—but you have to ask yourself: how bad do I want to win? [Cyberdine via Link]

iShoes: As mentioned, speed will also be a key to victory. These self-propelled shoes will help you travel the store at a whopping 13.5 mph. [iShoes via Link]

Secure Your Prize:

Sonic Alarm Grenade: Once you have located your prize, you will need to secure it from the grubby hands of the holiday horde. Wearing a set of earplugs and pulling the pin on this sonic grenade should buy you a little breathing room. It packs an ear-splitting high decibel blast that can cut through a crowd like a knife. [Firebox via Link]

R/C Skunk: Speaking of cutting a path through a crowd, sending this realistic looking radio-controlled skunk down the store aisles should help clear the way. It even has a flickable tail to strike fear in the heart of your enemies. [TYNKE]

Security Briefs: These dummy skid-marked briefs are intended to be a secure place to hide your valuables, but placing them on top of the HDTV you want while you shop elsewhere works well too. [Baron Bob]

Cyber Clean: Like the security briefs, Cyber Clean goo can be repurposed for holiday horde fighting. Under normal use, the substance helps clean your keyboard. But sneezing and throwing it discreetly on the product you desire should help you secure it. Licking it and / or putting it down your pants is also effective. [Expert Verdict]

Misdirection:

Excuse Me, I'm a Reporter with a Camera: People will do anything for someone with a camera. Picking up an old shoulder-mount VHS camcorder and a cheap mic from eBay will give you free reign of the store. Posing as a local reporter covering the last minute holiday shopping crowds will help you cut through lines and grab the items you need with no resistance. You can even add a microphone flag for added authenticity. Sure, a VHS camcorder is a poor substitute for a modern, professional video camera—but amidst all of the chaos and the thrill of being on television, people are unlikely to notice. [eBay]

Protect Yourself:

Defender Hoodie: As we have learned from the horrific incident at Toys R Us this year, it is important to protect yourself from insane, gun-wielding shoppers. The Defender Hoodie is made from 2mm of Type IIA bulletproofing—enough to stop a 9mm full-metal-jacket round at a velocity of 1,090 feet-per-second. [Bladerunner via Link]

Umbuster Umbrella: Finally, as a last line of defense, the Umbuster knuckle-dusting umbrella will help you beat down mother nature and crazed holiday shoppers that would trample over their own grandmother to score a deal. [Sruli Recht via Link]

[Image via Zorpia]

However, constructing the tree was done at the expense of a thorough DoD level wipe, so this innocent little project may contain enough sensitive company data to make Trigger's bosses go Grinch on his ass this year. [Make]

You can check the rest of the gingerbread houses collection at You Bent My Wookie, and gain two pounds just by looking at their huge gallery. [You Bent My Wookie via Geekologie]

The tree is rolled up from a 15-foot by 6-inch scroll of OLED panels lit green. Since I'm kind of scared at the scruffy mountain men types that tend to descend on NYC as part of the migratory holiday Balsam Fir Trade, this might just be what I need for my apartment.

[GE Press Release]

As you can see in the video, it required some careful planning. First, finding the microwave ovens with the right "ping", so they could have the notes required to play Jingle Bells. Then, setting up the timers so, when the cooking time was done, the pings created the song. It can't beat that Burt & Loni Sing Xmas vinyl. but it's absolute genius. []

Sci-Fi Xmas Tree: The Movie

Sci-Fi Xmas Tree: Bonus

All the ornaments

The tree belongs to own of our dearest commenters and his wife, and the first ever to hold a star in Gizmodo: Strider. Or like he wants to call himself in real life: Mike. As you can see, it's absolutely spectacular, even overwhelming with all that sound.

In 1997, when Hallmark started the light and sound Star Trek ornaments, my mom bought all my brothers and sisters (including my then-girlfriend) the original NCC-1701 Enterprise ornament. Every year since then my wife and I have tried (and I'm pretty sure succeeded) to collect them all, including the Star Wars ones, although I'm not actually sure how complete our collection is at the moment. We don't keep track, we just get the ones we want, which is usually all if not most of them.

I use eight individual strings of lights to spread out the electrical load of the light-powered ornaments. It takes at least a few hours to set the whole thing up. It's so worth it though. We're up to two of those large plastic bins of the ones that get put away. Every year we decide to keep a couple more of the battery operated ones out. -I want the big TIE fighter for my desk, personally.

[Big thanks for Mike and his wife, Melissa—who put the decorations up— for the amazing job of documenting the decoration of their tree for us]

Once upon a time, when everything was black and white and the Russians had horns and tails, someone printed an ad asking kids to call Santa Claus using a very wrong telephone number.

The time was 1955. The place, Colorado Springs. The ad was printed by Sears, and the number... well, the number wasn't Santa's phone at the North Pole. It wasn't even the gold and glitter phone at his secret bachelor pad in Las Vegas. Someone at Sears' ad department made a mistake, so the phone number printed in the ad wasn't the one that the Colorado Springs store had set up to take note of the children's wishes.

It was the hotline for the Continental Air Defense's Director of Operations, Colonel Harry Shoup.

The CONAD boss wasn't amused when he got his first call. Instead of a report on missiles falling over Wichita or a Soviet submarine surfacing on the San Francisco bay, what he got was a six-year old telling him what he wanted—probably his own nuclear missiles and a nuclear submarine. However, instead of telling the kid to go visit the elves tied to the warhead of an Intercontinental Ballistic Missile, he did something else: After the second boy called—and after realizing what was happening—he told his staff to start giving Santa's polar coordinates to every children calling that line.

In 1958, CONAD became the North American Aerospace Defense Command, a joint operation between the United States and Canada. By then, the event was already being covered by the media, and kids were calling NORAD's phone number like crazy. That Christmas Eve, hundreds of volunteers at Cheyenne Mountain and Peterson Air Force base spent part of their night answering the phone and telling kids where Santa was.

The rest, as it usually goes, is history.

This year marks the 50th anniversary of NORAD's Santa Tracking System, which in 1997 got into the Web—much to the relief of NORAD volunteers. [Norad Santa Tracking, Wikipedia]

Everything is controlled using a web page, which is connected to the huge setup using X10 power control systems. Alek Komarnitsky says that this year he's using wind energy too, helping with the power demands this thing requires. The system will be online until January 1st between 5:00PM to 10:00PM (GMT -7).

All is completely free, but Alek does it for a good cause, not just to showing us who cool he is and how puny we and our ACME instant tree-in-a-pizza-box are. If you like the show, consider donating some money to the University of Maryland Center for Celiac Research. [Komar]

This Xmas light display, which is in its second year running by a couple named Willy and Deb, has a rotating array of music that's synced to their flashing lights; a technique pioneered by this family back in 2005ish. Watch and enjoy. It runs from 5:30 PM to 12:30 AM Eastern from now to Xmas. [Ustream]

Do you have examples of crazy holidays lightning in your city or town? Any neighbour spending the budget of some African state in animated light Santas and elves from hell? Send them here. [Bouncing Red]

Giz: How did you come up with this idea?
For several years, Kyle has done an automated Christmas light display using hardware that he has worked on at National Instruments. When he started playing Guitar Hero this fall, it sort of just seemed like a natural fit...couple that with the fact that Guitar Hero is more popular than ever right now, and it seemed like the perfect idea and timing.

Giz: How long did the whole thing take you guys?
Probably about 30 hours...most of which was spent the weekend before it's debut modding the Frets on Fire program extensively. The basic cubicle light design had been done years past, so I was tasked with wiring and setting most of that while Kyle investigated the ins and outs of programming with Python, a language neither of us had used before this project.

Giz: Can you explain the process? How did each piece hook up?
First, I'll hit the hardware side: Kyle's Dell Athlon 64 x2 XPS (running XP SP2) was hooked up to 2 NI 9172 USB CompactDAQ (Data Acquisition) chassis, one in the front corner and one in the back. Each of these chassis held 4 NI 9481 quad-channel relay modules, resulting in 16 channels per chassis and a total 32 independently controllable channels. The 32 strings of lights hung around the cube were wired individually (by me) into the relays. Using hardware timed generation, all 32 channels were updated every millisecond. Add on the USB XBOX 360 Guitar Hero 2 controller, and the system was ready for some code.

Alright, on to the software side of things: The Frets on Fire game was written entirely in Python but the API for controlling the cDAQ modules was written in C. Thus, a colleague (thanks Joe!) used SWIG(Simplified Wrapper and Interface Generator, seen here) to make the API available from the game code. Once this was available, Kyle and I teamed up to "pair program" the modded code (Kyle at the keyboard, and me behind him questioning things and generating ideas). Since we had very little knowledge of the language or the game's structure, the biggest challenge was understanding the game's composition, learning how all of the variables we needed were captured, and deciding exactly how to insert our light-controlling code. Oh...and keeping it from crashing...

Giz: What was the hardest part (besides actually playing Fire and Flames on expert)?
Well...besides the fact that autoplay could not handle Fire and Flames on expert (it's just too hard!) I guess we'd have to go with maintaining overall stability. That, and finding a way to counteract the delays our code imposed so that the lights were actually in sync with the sound.

Giz: Are you guys going to do a fireworks version for NYE?
You know, if a box from Gizmodo arrived with the right equipment, it would be tough to ignore.

Giz: And anything else you guys feel like the world should know (like which one of you is the better player)
Well, neither of us are superstars, but I think I have a slight edge in the competition. Also, I am actually a full-time student at Texas A&M and don't work at National Instruments...but maybe someday soon! Thanks for your interest and time, and we hope everyone enjoyed the display!

Thanks Colin and Kyle!