The iPhone 6c? Naw. Maybe it’s the iPhone 5e? Nope. Apple rumor machine 9to5Mac’s Mark Gurman is going with “iPhone 5se” for Apple’s rumored 4-inch iPhone, supposedly coming this March. It makes me want to punch something.

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Previous rumors have said that that the “e” stands for “enhanced,” but also supposedly “special edition.” What happens if they make another 4-inch phone next year? The iPhone 5se Plus? Wait, the big iPhone is called the Plus.

This may be one of the dumbest names for a phone I’ve ever heard, keeping in mind that the Casio G’zOne Rock C731 for Verizon is a gadget that exists in this mortal plane. I very much hope this name is not real.

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But moving beyond the name for a moment, the rumored specs are borderline not terrible, even if it’s impossible to know the truth. Everything keeps changing. After some back-and-forth speculation, it looks like the new tiny iPhone will come with the A8 chip, the same one in 2014's iPhone 6. Unlike the normal 5s, the 5se (grumble, grumble) will have NFC for all your Apple Pay needs and Live Photos. Don’t get too excited though, since Gurman also reports that the 5se will not have 3D Touch tech in the screen. In fact, it’ll have the same screen from the original 5s. The 5se will also be ditching the chamfered edges for the 6's more rounded curves and will come in the expected Silver, Space Gray, Gold, and Rose Gold color.

Along with the iPhone 5se, Gurman also suspects that the iPad Air 3 will share some stage time in March along with new Apple Watch software. New wearable hardware, however, may be delayed until the fall.

I hope that this is the last Apple rumor we hear on the 4-inch phone until the 5se or whatever it’s called launches in March. Gurman’s leak would be about the zillionth rumored configuration of this phone already, and it’s getting hard to separate the few facts from the piles and piles of fiction.

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[9to5Mac]


Contact the author at darren.orf@gizmodo.com.