The Complete List of People You Shouldn't Send Dick Pics To

So you're thinking about sending a dick pic. Congratulations! There comes a time in every man's life when this thought crosses his mind. This very website has even implied that it's ok to send a sex organ selfie to any asshole in your phone book.

But before you hit send on this message of your manbits, take a look at this list and make sure the receiver is not one of the following people:

1) Your mother

2) Your father

3) Your sister

4) Your brother

5) Your grandmother

6) Your grandfather

7) Your aunt

8) Your uncle

9) Your cousin

10) Your second cousin

11) Your next door neighbor

12) Your roommate

13) Your former roommate

14) Your ex-girlfriend

15) Your ex-boyfriend

15) President Barack Obama

16) Vice President Joe Biden

17) Secretary of State John Kerry

18) Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel

19) Attorney General Eric Holder

20) Secretary of Agriculture Thomas Vilsack

21) Secretary of Commerce Penny Pritzker

22) Secretary of Labor Thomas Perez

23) Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius

24) Secretary of Transportation Anthony Foxx

25) Secretary of the Interior Sally Jewell

26) Your senator

27) Your representative

28) Your state senator

29) Your state representative

30) Your high school pre-cal teacher

31) A local news anchor

32) A librarian

33) Your doctor*

34) Your boss

35) Your intern

36) Your dentist

37) Your rabbi

38) Your neighborhood barista

39) The woman who works at the checkout at CVS on weekends

40) A comedian

41) The guy who played Squints in the Sandlot

42) This Bloomberg reporter

43) A police officer

44) A firefighter

45) A private investigator

46) Nik Richie

47) Sam Biddle

48) Me

49) Anyone on this list

50) Anyone who works for any website in any capacity

51) Martha Stewart

52) Oprah

53) Tonya Harding

54) Tanya Tucker

55) Nancy Kerrigan

56) Diane Sawyer

57) Barbara Walters

58) Brian Williams

59) Brian Wilson

60) Brian Wilson

61) Carnie Wilson

62) Wendy Wilson

63) Chynna Phillips

64) Phillip Seymour Hoffman

65) Phillip Phillips

66) Michael Phelps

67) Fred Phelps

68) Fred Willard

69) Willard Fillmore

70) Al Roker

71) Will Smith

72) Jada Pinkett-Smith

73) Willow Smith

74) Jaden Smith

75) Your housekeeper

76) Your mailman

77) Your plumber

78) Your building's superintendent

79) Tiger Woods

80) Elin Nordegren

81) Nevada Senator John Ensign

82) Mark Zuckerberg

83) Priscilla Chan Zuckerberg

84) General David Patraeus

85) A landscaper

86)A jeweler

87) Thomas Friedman

88) Thomas Keller

89) Thomas Kinkaide

90) Clarence Thomas

91) Your barber

92) Your esthetician

93) Your manicurist

94) Your shrink

95) Your dermatologist*

96) The guy from Catfish

97) Ian McKellan

98) Guy Fieri

99) Gordon Ramsay

100) Emeril Lagasse

101) Mat Honan

102) The golf pro at your in-laws' country club

103) Your sister's best friend

104) Your niece

105) Your nephew

106) A farmer

107) Your dad's fraternity brother

108) A lobster fisherman

109) Your yoga teacher

110) Woz

111) Kevin Bacon

112) His Royal Highness Prince George Alexander Louis

113) The notary that works at your post office

114) Dennis Haskins

115) Mark Curry

116) Alfonso Ribeiro

117) Mark Paul Gosselaar

118) A TSA agent

119) A flight attendant

120) A pilot

121) Ben Savage

122) Dan Savage

123) Joey Lawrence

124) Matt Lawrence

125) Andy Lawrence

126) A waiter

127) A bartender

128) Your doorman

129) Hotel concierge

130) A travel agent

131) A carnie

132) A clown

133) A baker

134) Your drug dealer

135) Henry Blodget

136) Kevin Rose

137) Kevin Rose's dog

138) DJ Khaled

139) Michael Stipe

140) A judge

141) A court reporter

142) A boat driver

143) Jamal Mashburn

144) Lisa Leslie

145) Tom Jones

146) A professional poker player

147) A Blackjack dealer

148) An Elvis impersonator

149) An Elvis fan

150) A teen

151) A tween

152) Mayor Rob Ford

153) A cow

154) Jaleel White

155) A sushi chef

156) A beat poet

157) Andre 3000

158) Bill Gates

159) Bill Nye

160) Bill Clinton

161) George Clinton

162) The guy who installed your cable box

163) An archeologist

164) A museum curator

165) A Subway Sandwich artist

166) A garbage man

167) A window washer

168) A clod of dirt

169) An Apple genius

170) Ben Stein

171) Tucker Carlson

173) A haberdasher

174) A security guard

175) A mathematician

176) A janitor

178) A backup dancer

179) Drake

180) Alec Baldwin

181) Stephen Baldwin

182) Billy Baldwin

183) Taebo inventor Billy Blanks

184) Sharon Stone

185) Sylvester Stallone

186) A scone

187) A small block of cheese

188) A cartoonist

189) A secretary

190) A personal trainer

191) The ladies who do Tai Chi every morning in the park near your office

192) Your old piano teacher

193) A construction worker

194) A city parks employee

195) A dog walker

196) A dog groomer

197) A veterinarian

198) A pediatrician

199) A mortician

200) Sarah Mclachlan

201) A Canadian

202) Survivor host Jeff Probst

203) Randy Jackson

204) Jermaine Jackson

205) Tito Jackson

206) Janet Jackson

207) Marlon Jackson

208) Jackie Jackson

209) LaToya Jackson

210) Marlon Jackson

211) Some twigs

212) Anthony Weiner

*If you're texting your doctor a dick pic, chances are you should just make an appointment