The Dangers of Dating a ButterphoneS

We've all been there before. You're out at a bar with friends when—suddenly—you find yourself talking the man and/or woman of your dreams. You exchange numbers, and the next morning, after carefully crafting your first sober communication, you await his or her response with bated breath. Your phone vibrates. You look down, eyes opened wide. And then—there it is, burning your eyes like a slap in the face. Green chat bubbles.

No, it's not an Android; you've stumbled upon a butterphone, and College Humor has wonderful depiction of the moral dilemma that follows. Texting character limits? No GPS? Still struggling with T9? Nothing to distract their fidgety hands except a single free trial level of Snake (they're not paying for the premium game, no thank you)? Yep, they've got it all. And the worst part? They'll never have the charger you need—the worst kind of nightmare. When Meatloaf said he wouldn't do "that," he was talking about butterphones.

Then again, the real joke here is that this is the sort of thing that encapsulates everything that's wrong with tech lovers. A horribly, hilariously perfect tribute so spot on it hurts. [College Humor]