This Is the Biggest Goddamn Smartwatch I've Ever Seen In My LifeS

Wow, okay. Where to begin? This is the Pine by Neptune. It's a 2.4-inch watch that you're supposed to wear on your wrist, in spite of it being much, much bigger than your wrist.

Seriously, why need a phone when you have this thing? It does everything your phone already does in a decidedly more offensive package. Pine is a Android 4.1-powered standalone device. Touch screen? Check. GPS? Check. Bluetooth? Check. Wi-Fi? Check. Front- and -back facing cameras? Check, check, check. So this is a good way to probably weed out people you should definitely not be hanging out with. The thing even has a headphone jack. I dare you to envision a scenario in which you'd be plugged into a watch with your earbuds. There is absolutely no reason for this to exist.

This Is the Biggest Goddamn Smartwatch I've Ever Seen In My Life