Apple unveiled two new iPads yesterday, and regardless of what new bells and whistles they're packing, people will inevitably ooh and ahh over them, and buy the fresh tablets by millions. Which brings up a question: what if Apple's announcement was completely BS-free?

As usual, Kimmel's fantasy interpretation of what could be in some alternate universe is spot-on. You know, you might be impressed by more LTE bands and a better FaceTime camera and a retina display screen and whatnot. But let's be real here, people are going to buy the thing whether its display is packed with pixels or not. At least the upgrades this time around are better than they were last year, but most people just care that the new iPad is new. [Jimmy Kimmel]