Introduction Scene
-Tom Morello - High Fiver #1 (Rage Against The Machine)

One Man Band
Mark Cuban - Sunglasses Shredder (Entrereneur & owner of the Dallas Mavericks)

Father/Son scene
-Al Gore - Dad (Former Vice-President of the United States of America)
-Hanson - Son (90's pop idol)

Jam Session
-Julian McMahon - Right Jammer(Actor "Nip Tuck)

NowIGetIt

nmessana

[lspearmanii.multiply.com]

- there are some other old people playing this thing - Quincy Jones, Yo-Yo Ma and Herbie Hancock. They seem to be having fun.

fanofthenew

PhantomS2K

Guy-Fawkes

zerocrossing

That's now how the thing works. It's multiple tracks. Your hands start and stop the tracks. It's totally fun. The Arcade fire did a similar thing, you can try it out here.

Squanderdalfast

emptee_head

Thoth74

uberfu

ultistealth

I am not sure if i saw someone playing this if I would feel bad for there stupidity or laugh at there stupidity.

Spend the cash on an XBOX 360 and Guitar Hero.

jutman

prince_of_paradox

tomcod

Guy: Yeah, a couple....

PlayerX

SamStone4321

mattnyc99

russdogg

Beamz: I commend you, sirs: you have brought a tear to my eye.

Now Jesus, please: if you could post the letter of them complaining that they received a half-burnt, half-blended Beamz unit back from your testing, this comedy would be complete.

Parents: you're better off with a $80 Casio keyboard that actually teaches your child how to play an actual instrument.

"Play the light..." LOL!

electrikecho

skatanic

syosh

Or just install some sort of MIDI keyboard emulator and actually compose music with your computer keyboard. Or buy a MIDI keyboard. Or learn to play guitar.
...oh there are so many things you could do with $600 that actually involve you creating/playing music and are a lot more fun.

Mircea Suciu

rich70734

I get it.

charliew77

when you play an instrument, you KNOW what sound the instrument is going to make.

this is pretty much just 4 buttons. the user has NO idea what sound or note the device is going to generate when they trigger one of the for "buttons"

this isn't playing music...it's randomly waving your hands around while the computer generates random-ordered pre-recorded instrument sounds/combos.

the user is not creating anything.

theorie

ice2032

This thing is just like the toy saxophones they make for little kids, except it has PEW PEW PEW LAZZZZERS!!!!

That said, I'm sure this thing will sell like hotcakes to Sharper Image's core demographic: middle class midwest white dudes, near or past retirement, who use such products ether endlessly or once, depending on the level of ridicule they get from their kids

RichardMcBeef

oh, and please, please, PLEASE let it blend!!!

Snowlovers

Matt Silverman is either the most dedicated employee ever, or mentally retarded.

awesomerobot

Thank you Beamz!

awesomerobot

n0ia

NYCJason

That letter only helped convince me to avoid this product like the plague all the more.

Klaymen

trujunglist

undeadmachine

even then...

brownakpowerbht

like, it sounded like my old keyboard i had when i was a kid! if i had $600 bucks lying around i would get me 4 hookers, a nice room and lots of booze. that, my friends, is how you spend $600 bucks.

B1663R

mthrndr

On a not so positive note:

The price is way to high if it is $600.
If it was between $70-600 I would think it was still to pricey. 69.99 I would think of it as some cheep product and not buy it.

profusion

SamStone4321

McLucky

HeartBurnKid, creepy morbid freak

dougiec29

Poon

Poon

Moving your hands into the beams would still require you to have knowledge of what sounds good. I guess you might stumble upon it eventually.
Either way they need it to look better. When I first saw it, I thought it was an upside down table. The recording might be ok to listen to if you dig synthesized sound, but not for watching a performance. Yuck.

GhoS

frndlybnny

jetexas

lafond66

islandhopper

FLegion

What has this business come to? The setup is not even look pleasing.

I categorise this as crap!!

ggvrsn

phate

Wess

pradster

olafson

Dr.Remulak

kbarrett

Okay, that's just uncalled for.

dead_red_eyes

dead_red_eyes

Bos'un's Mate

There are some pretty nice sound/music synthesizers... even on portables like DS and PSP which don't require instrument-like skills and still can make good music.

Unlike this piece of crap called Beamz, that is.

Hell.. get a Sega Genesis and Toe Jam & Earl... it still would be better than this.

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

No, make it 600 bucks for a set of 6 lasers and the grand opportunity of looking like a moron with no motor skills.

Bokusatsu_Tenshi

mcsurfer3393

I have a disabled son who isn't able to play instruments with any sort of precision. But he loves music. Something like this might be useful for him as it acts sort of like a laser harp (which he has used before and loved).

Bummer about the $600, though.

SinistarX

But you will need special protection for your eyes... may we suggest the amaizing HD Vision Sunglases, its the perfect match!!! [gizmodo.com]

DeLarge

hhaller

liquidsoapdispenser

Jimbuck

A: Yes! Independent studies have shown that test subjects who played Beamz on a regular basis were perceived as having up to 28% greater douchebaggery than those who did not play Beamz. Furthermore, this level increased to a staggering 48% when a "high five" maneuver was employed as part of a regular Beamz routine!

KingSnorky

hazmx

This is not much different than a PlaySkool 6 note keyboard, except that it has lasers and costs nearly $600 U.S.

DeadWriter

Angus

Guitar hero is to being a guitarist
as
Beamz is to actually having any musical talent

Sort of interesting from a gadget perspective, but as a musician this sort of thing makes me grumpy. It's like playing a real instrument actually took skill and/or practice, so we needed some instantly gratifying crapmachine to do it all for us.

med

DeadWriter

And the bald, fat guy is probably THE coolest virtual musician I've EVER seen.

I love how even in advertisements promoting a product, pre-teens still soooo don't give a sh*t.

Digabyte

I saw this on the in-flight catalog, Skymall and wondered how lame it actually was. Fantastic, 6 binary inputs- Wow, I am blown away.

From the Skymall listing: "makes it easy to lay down a complementary rhythm track from any of 30 original "songs" in 19 musical genres". In other words, you control very little, we control the rhythm, we control the melody- you control how stupid you look.

DeadWriter

OMG it hurts my brain that crap like this even exists. And their infomercial makes it even more idiotic looking.

jennyfur

Bodypainter

astroglide

vinylsaurus

aboriginal

thechansen

And everyone will be waiting for the BeamZ single of the week free download.

DeLarge

SomeAudioGuy

But I concede that you've got a fine contender here. The Jam Session may have pushed it over the top.

makanai

But yes, I'm a white guy, and I'm awesome.

GOKOR

oper451

"Everyone sounds great!" = Asian female.

Implication: Seriously, you don't have to be a white dude to be awesome. Even Asian females can rock out on this miracle product.

92BuickLeSabre

v2h5a81

crosshare

MastaFalse

Chomp don't want da help, chomp don't get da help. Shiiiiiiiiit.

This whole thing has to be a friggin joke - I can't take a musical instrument that calls on an SNL skit with Christopher Walken as proof of its "street cred" to be anything but a parody of absolutely ridiculous infomercials, which, despite the plethora of low-cost or no-cost high-quality video editing equipment and software, still look like they were shot sometime in 1988.

That being said, I just saw one at the HAPPY TIME DOLLAR STORE and will be picking it up on the way home for, you guessed it, ONE HAPPY DOLLAR.

rileyjam514

I can't decide who's performance was worse.
The "one man band man" or the bald rhythmless joke-of-a DJ at the beginning. I guess it's a tie for inadmissible suckiness.

Kareem King

This is to synthesizers as Guitar Hero is to guitarists...a cheap way to make you feel like you're talented, when in all actuality you suck.

TeraFlopper

ps - guitar solo
pps - more cowbell?!?

undeadmachine

Eruanno

And if you happen to se Yo-Yo Ma at Carnegie Hall this Spring, I wont have to tell you what he's gonna be rockin'.

Yes. The BeamZ xj1000.

So to all you haters, you can all "beam" yourself!

L8R.

nystreetfilms

+ Watch video

Bos'un's Mate

mSiqueira

youknowit

Real world applications? Stick to real musical instruments.

Jeepin

tommo

maven2k

mumin

levingst

I think you're all missing the point. This clearly isn't a musical device, it's a contraceptive! No one using this will EVER get laid, so it's clearly a total success!

DaOtter

Michai

Galley

Jack Loftus

TableZero

Oh, wait...

P3nnst8r

Y2KGTP

Hiphopopotamus

scarbrtj

mtopper

XM8500

MastaFalse

MastaFalse

whits

Falconfire

dear god...

ftw5000

Nathan Drake

thechansen

Nigerian Business Executive

GHETTO.CHiLD

kaneshadow

amehrich

strobefx

strider_mt2k

thechansen

adkitchen

scarbrtj

desostros

bookmark

IT'S A LIMITED OFFER MAN!!

Good thing they showed us a guy with tousled hair, sunglasses and bluejeans so we know he's rockin'.

I'm sure when they try to take over the ship their jam sessions with Spock will have helped the Federation reason with them...or something.

Yaaay, brother, yay.

strider_mt2k

rudeadly

hanswurst0815

paul.mcr