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I'm going to give you two possible methods for keeping your panties fresh and odor free. Please choose one:

1. Purchase Green-Shield Underwear, which uses nanotechnology to create a negative ionic field near your junk to repel bacteria while increasing circulation and leaching toxins from the body. This underwear also absorbs "far-infrared rays" and cause your cells to vibrate a higher frequency which speeds up metabolism and helps you eliminate wastes.

2. Wash your stinky underpants.

I'm going to let you all mull that one over and get back to me, but I'm going for #1. The more untested, chemically treated fabric I can press against my Bobs-Yer-Uncle the better.

The cleanest underwear in town [TaipeiTimes]