Black Mirror season 3 warns viewers of a spoOooOoky technologically advanced future; its first episode depicting a society where everyone rates every person they interact with, no matter how minor, and your rating determines everything. The concept is similar to that of the failed Peeple app, which was supposed to be Yelp but for people. Black Mirror heavy-handedly preaches the horrors of tech, but truth be told, we already live in a scary-ass technologically advanced society. Facebook and Snapchat have your biometric data. (Who owns your face?) AI is racist. The robot from Ex Machina is a reality, but she’s just not as hot. Truth, as it turns out, is scarier than fiction.
So turn off Netflix, and strap yourself in for a dose of real life. Here are 14 real tech horror stories far spookier than Black Mirror.
1. Oh God, My Tinder Date’s Wearing Google Glass
There’s nowhere to run. You must endure.
2. Catch 404
To reset the password, you must login into Yahoo. To log into Yahoo, you must reset the password. To reset the password, you must login into Yahoo. To log into Yahoo, you must reset the password. To reset the password, you must login into Yahoo. To log into Yahoo, you must reset the password. To reset the password, you must login into Yahoo. To log into Yahoo, you must reset the password.
3. Dr. Perfect Hookup and Mr. “Sent From My Blackberry”
You have the most beautiful romantic night with a stranger. In the morning, you wake up to see him using a Blackberry. “I love BBM,” he chuckles. It begins to rain from outside your window. A poignant and terrifying moment.
4. Your Brother Broke His iPhone, So I Let Him Use Your Upgrade
You don’t mind, right?
5. M.A.D. 2: Nuclear Boogaloo
6. It Came From Mom’s iPhone: “🍆.”
😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
7. Get Sued by a Vindictive Tech Billionaire and Die
The Gawker Media story.
8. The NSA Knows What You Did Last Summer
And last weekend. And yesterday. And right now. And tomorrow.
9. I Can Only Convey My Emotions Through Memes
A deep dive into the alt-right.
10. The Cruel Rainbow Swirl of Death
Or, you are going to lose that really important file.
11. Does Yahoo Dream of Electric Dicks?
A deep dream neural network that creates nightmare genitalia.
12. The “...” That Wouldn’t Die
You send an important message. You see the typing bubble appear. You feel a moment of relief. But then you never receive a response.
13. The Reply All Thread of the Living Dead
Please remove me from this email. Please remove me from this email. Please remove me from this email. Please remove me from this email. Please remove me from this email. Please remove me from this email. Please remove me fro—
14. Apple Slowly Tries to Replace Language With Emoji
Notice how your iPhone gives you emoji suggestions when you type in a word now?
Fast forward 50 years, and blogs will look like this: 🤖 🔥 💥 ❄️ 🌨 🔥 💥 ❄️ 🌨 ☃️ ⛄️ 🌬 💨 🌪 🌫🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑 ☂️ ☔️ 🎍 🎋🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑 🍃 🍂🤖🌏 👑👽🏉 🎱 ⛳️ 🏌👑🤖👑 🌺 🌻 🌹 🌷 🌼 🌸 💧 💦 🌊 👘🐲🐳🐿🎒😴🎈🤖🌏 👑👽🏉 🎱 ⛳️ 🏌 🏓 🏸 🏒 🏑 🏏 🎿 ⛷ 🏂 ⛸ 🏹 🎣 🚣 🏊 🏄 🛀 ⛹ 🐚 🕸 🌎🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑 🌍 🌕🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🏋 🚴 🚵 🏇 🕴 🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🏆 🎽 🏅 🎖 🎗 🏵 🎫 🎟 🎭 🎨 🎪 🎤 🎧 🎼 🎹 🎷 🎺 🎸 🎻 🎬🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑 🎮 👾 🎯 🎲 🎰 🎳🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑👽🤔🙃⛑👘🐲🐳🐿🎒😴🙄👹🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑👘🐲🐳🐿🎒😴👘🐲🐳🐿🎒😴😼👀👩❤️💋👩🌿 ☘ 🍀 💐 🍄 🌰 🎃 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌚 🌝 🌛 🌜 🌞🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑🤖👑