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Are you a toilet poweruser? Do you eat chili twice a day just to get your scat on? Then maybe this toilet seat will appeal to you. Newcomer Brondell has created a $549 toilet seat with shitloads (teehee) of features. Heated seat, washing mechanism to clean your rear, warm-air dry, and remote control are some of the nicer ones. Don't have that kind of cash laying around? You can still warm your ass for the modest price of $429, but I say you go DIY and duct tape a bunch of heating pads to your K-Mart brand seat. Sure it'll get messy, but you'll still have some dough in your pockets.

Royal treatment for royal bottoms [DL Mag]