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What's more hazardous to one's health than negative ion generators? Superheating those ions and blasting them horizontally into your lungs! We are unsure if Microroyal is really making us any more healthy with their "Healthy Fan Heater," but we appreciate that they've been able to repurpose random parts found in our uncle's fishing cabin.

A little gas lamp, a little faucet handle, a little housefan, a little negative ion generator...