The House of Cards Hacker Is the Best Worst Thing About Season 2

Season two of House of Cards has officially been out for a little over 80 hours, meaning you've probably already gorged yourself on all thirteen episodes. (WARNING: Some [non-critical] spoilers lie ahead.) The best worst part? An Anonymous-style hacker and his faithful sidekick, Cashew the guinea pig—every single second of which was absolutely, phenomenally over-the-top ridiculous.

Pretty much every computer nerd/hacker stereotype manages to make its way in. A penchant for pulsing, abrasive techno at unreasonable volumes? Check. Monster display setup with streams of code a la The Matrix? Check. Quirky animal friend? Check. A demeanor equally creepy, pompous, and paranoid? Check, check, and... check.

It's baffling to think that, even today, writers of what may be the best show on (sort-of) television are still resorting to this absurd archetype of the hacker evil genius. But even more baffling? How the hacker's page up key somehow controls every single function on every single computer program.


Supercut courtesy of our very own Nick Stango.

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I always forget how the hacker actor is called, but I do like him quite a bit, and he was also playing an IT mogul in Person of Interest, where he was a perfect sociopath, something between the one in HoC and and the weirdo in Jailbreakers (or what was the now cancelled series called, where also the BBQ's guy son starred)

Honestly the worst thing about this whole persona was the loud music. One day I will really research how much would it cost to have a TV scene with actual operating system in it, everything seems to be custom-rendered, which I never liked but I start to miss it with more and more Windows 8 product placement in the recent TV shows and movies. The whole USB stick case was a laugh. It would be much, much better for the story if both of them would just run and hide after the , ehm, accident, (pat on my back for a poor spoiler cover-up). This side-story was quite poorly executed. And if my mom, who needs a how-to post-it note to open solitaire game on her laptop, which has icon right on the desktop, identified the plot hole that a super-secure datacenter would not have USB ports enabled, if her own PC at work has all the ports disabled for security reasons, then I assume a good portion of the viewers saw that too.
Now excuse me, I have to rewatch the last footage of Stamper in the woods to decide if he is dead or not, I can't stand it for the next 12 months to not know. He is the best creepy guy ever.