The Single Worst Type of Selfie

Illustration for article titled The Single Worst Type of Selfie

You have a good side and a bad side, but everyone's bad side is a photo taken from the crotch looking up. There's a specific type of selfie that's taken like the photographer was holding the phone in his or her lap. They're not okay and no one looks good from that angle. If you're going to take a selfie, don't make it this one.


You know this genre of photo: the up-the-nose shot. The shot that must have been taken by someone who is two feet tall—or at the very least, sitting down. I first noticed this particular trend in selfies while browsing Tinder. It's a bit odd that people on a site that is in its essence photo-driven and superficial would so often post these unflattering shots. No one's going to be turned by visible snot, and it's really hard to avoid looking like you have surplus chins from this angle. I'm not trying to single anyone out here; this is very democratic in that, although sometimes an angle used in porn, everyone looks bad from below.

In fact, I'll use myself as an example. See here? I just took this selfie sitting here at my desk like all these other selfie-snapping fools, and it's not doing me any favors:

Illustration for article titled The Single Worst Type of Selfie

This rule is universal and applies to everyone. Think about it: have you ever seen a professional-grade photo taken from that angle? You have not. Our resident photographer Michael Hession says it's better to shoot from slightly above eye-level. In fact, OK Cupid, which actually tracks data on this type of thing, says you're better off taking a photo from the famed MySpace angle. Seriously! The dating site found that for women, it's the most effective angle in terms of getting new messages. And it's not even about boobs—the study excluded cleavage-baring shots entirely.

The we-can-see-all-the-way-into-your-frontal-lobe shot is not just bad, it's also lazy. You definitely have other photos of yourself, and if they're not current, you have a camera on your phone and if you don't, you know someone who does. Together, we can stop perpetuating public displays of nose hair and double chins—let's put an end to this trend right now.


I haven't quite figured out this selfie thing yet. I'll keep practicing.