Finally BlackBerry (reportedly) called on Canada's most reputable citizen, Drake, to promote the upcoming BlackBerry Passport. But despite Drizzy's only cares being money and the city that he's from, he declined. So who should BlackBerry call?
We've decided to help, by ranking Canada's notable citizens and potential BlackBerry spokespersons in order of appeal and Canadianness. All rankings are indisputable and binding:
1) Justin Bieber
Pro: Canadian
Con: Casual racist who pees in public buckets but otherwise pretty good
2) Ryan Gosling
Pro: Canadian
Con: Not known for smartphone savvy; smoldering eyes distract from product
3) Celine Dion
Pro: Canadian
Con: Might think it's a deal for actual blackberries
4) Rachel McAdams
Pro: Canadian
Con: Wants to know if you asked Ryan Gosling first
5) Alex Trebek
Pro: Canadian
Con: Kind of a dick sometimes
6) Rick Moranis
Pro: Canadian
Con: No one has seen him since Honey We Shrunk Ourselves
7) Tim Horton
Pro: Canadian
Con: Tim Horton has been dead since 1974
8) Pam Anderson
Pro: Canadian
Con: Too busy with PETA
9) Eugene Levy
Pro: Canadian
Con: Uses an iPhone
10) Jim Carrey
Pro: Canadian
Con: That whole anti-vaxxer thing
11) Neil Young
Pro: Canadian
Con: Also not good at making hardware people want to buy.
12) Mike Myers
Pro: Canadian
Con: Has fully adopted Shrek persona since 2010
13) Michael Cera
Pro: Canadian
Con: Propensity for growing a pornstache
14) Jason Priestly
Pro: Canadian
Con: NASCAR
15) Tom Green
Pro: Canadian
Con: Bum Bum Song
16) Joshua Jackson
Pro: Canadian
Con: Availability contingent on Dawson's Creek reunion
17) Avril Lavigne
Pro: Canadian
Con: Avril Lavigne
DISCUSSION
Some others:
pro: canadian, feels like a woman
con: will insist on singing new "blackberry country" jingle
pro: canadian, aparently down for whatever
con: makes that face, acts.
Pros: canadian, doesn't sing much anymore
Cons: defines her own terms
Pros: canadian
cons: is going to make it all about the animals you're killing by not having saved them yet