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While it's too late to assemble a proper bug-out bag, we hope for the sake of your easily-pierced flesh that you've already bugged—you're still going to need to grab a few supplies if you want to survive this god-forsaken apocalypse. And what's the easiest way to get what you need? Cutting right to it.

Some would suggest the ubiquitous chainsaw—we like the Stihl MS460 Rescue Saw with handy gore-proof muffler shield—and those are certainly going to be easier to find. But if fortune smiles, liberate yourself the Stihl HT 100 Pole Pruner. Its nearly six-foot reach keeps the gnashing teeth of the walking dead away from your person, a welcome trade-off for its relatively short blade length. (And we prefer the HT 100 over the HT 101, as the 101's telescoping pole makes it less structurally suitable for bludgeoning.)

Readers in Virginia Beach may find it useful to head towards the almost-certainly-zombie-free Stihl plant at 536 Viking Drive.

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