This Prank Face Heater Should Be Real

Illustration for article titled This Prank Face Heater Should Be Real

This is a prank face heater called HotLips you can purchase to trick a family member or loved one over the holidays. It is also something that should (with some significant modifications) totally exist already and I want one.


I am of the opinion that you should not pull pranks unless you are a mischievous neighborhood ragamuffin or George Clooney. That said, this fake face heater holds within its roguish concept a nasty-strong nugget of truth: Personal outdoor heaters should be a thing. Even the thickest balaclava cannot keep you comfortable on frigid winter days. You know what could? If we walked around with little personal heat hats that emanated delightful warmth, counteracting polar blasts with wafts of hot air.

The HotLips design is obviously stupid, because who wants to walk around with a sheet-like heater covering their face, but imagine—why not!— a visor or umbrella that provided warmth without obstructing your view of the world. We could cavort in ice castles while staying toasty. Look how happy these warm prank-shills are and imagine how ebullient they would be if they were wearing real heaters that didn't impair their vision!

Illustration for article titled This Prank Face Heater Should Be Real

Remember when Adam "Hair" Duritz was like "It's gonna be a long December and we have reason to believe that maybe this year will be better than the last" ??? Well if I had a personal heater to withstand the icy climes of my midwestern ice-hell home I would have reason to believe that he was crooning a premonition.

As long as the designers figured out a way to avoid people just burning their hair/eyebrows off, I would happily buy a version of this.

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Bob Dylan's son was never a member of Counting Crows... I think you might be thinking of The Wallflowers and Jakob Dylan.