Sex Makes Life Better, Study Says

Image: Warner Bros.
Image: Warner Bros.

Ever wondered if having sex is a good thing, an act that could actually make you a more productive person and help you perform better at work? Wonder no more, dear reader. A new psychology study claims that fucking at home makes people do better at the office.

The entirely unsurprising results came after researchers surveyed 159 married couples twice a day for two weeks. A majority of study’s subjects reported a “morning positive effect” at work the next day after a night of banging. There was also a correlation between nightly sex and high job satisfaction, low stress levels, and marital satisfaction. This sex stuff sounds like it’s good for you!

“This is a reminder that sex has social, emotional and physiological benefits, and it’s important to make it a priority,” Keith Leavitt, an associate professor at Oregon State University and lead author of the study, said. “Just make time for it.”

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Sage advice: make time for sex, make it a priority. Then again, we’ve known about the correlation between sex and happiness for decades. The first study that linked sex with lower levels of anxiety dates back to 1958, and countless studies since then have showed how sex raises levels of feel-good chemicals dopamine, oxytocin, and opioids in the brain. Large-scale studies have also found that sex leads to happier marriages and possibly even a longer life.

All that said, this new study linking an active sex life with better job performance is a classic situation of correlation-not-causation. You could easily assume that people who have more sex are already leading happier lives or, at the very least, enjoying a happier marriage. These social factors are undoubted related to job performance, so it’s hard to say definitively whether the study’s subjects did better at work because they had more sex or because they’re simply happier, more productive people for any number of reasons.

Don’t overthink it, though. There’s a college professor in Oregon telling you to make time for sex and expect good things to happen as a result. This is good advice.

[Journal of Management]

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Senior editor at Gizmodo.

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DISCUSSION

Sex causes anxiety in our house. We have older kids, and they get grossed out when mom and dad start banging- to the point where my 16 year old son will hear our bedroom door lock, then run up to our room and knock “Mom...dad...what are you doing?!!!” He and my 19 yo daughter will then start getting pissed and yelling stuff like “that’s so gross!” and “that’s f-ed up!”. God forbid if they have friends over...they’ll start broadcasting our business to everyone!

I’ve tried everything from the “we need privacy” talk to going nuclear (I’ve even removed his bedroom door from its hinges saying “If we can’t have any privacy...neither can you. We don’t want you masturbating in there!”

Nothing’s helped. My kids are complete cock blocks. Help us Dear Abby! I’m getting impotence over this!