Image: Airbnb

The home President Donald J Trump was raised (and presumably conceived) in is now available for rent on Airbnb. It’s lodging fit for an idiot-king. And yes, I’m sorry for making you think about Fred Trump having sex.

Newsday contacted Paramount Realty, which confirmed the authenticity of the listing as the structure in which our president was but a larva. Despite having 17 (seventeen!!!) beds, house rules disallow parties, though I’m loathe to think how many MAGA-themed orgies the Jamaica, Queens property would be host to otherwise. At least this Tudor-style comes stocked with a life-sized cardboard cutout and at least a half-dozen framed photos of the president to keep patriotic renters company.

Any Trump-loving red-blooded American dumbass looking to huff in a bit of the president’s residual success while sneering at New York liberals will be disappointed to realize Jamaica Estates is... basically Long Island. And shitposting may be difficult as the listing does not make clear if the home is equipped with wifi.

Really, all you need to know is right there in the host’s words:

“Childhood Home of Donald J Trump... You know... where the President lived as a little kid.”

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One assumes the writer of these words is the same unnamed bidder who won Fred Trump’s Fuck Palace back in March for around $2.14 million. That bidder, along with many other Americans these days, is likely regretting betting on the sort of guy who casually escalates conflicts against foreign nations during unrelated press conferences.