Your parents are getting divorced. Santa killed himself back in 1974. The Easter Bunny is a hermaphrodite. The iPod TouchScreen isn't confirmed.
Sorry to be the bringer of bad news, but the iPod "touch-screen" was supposed to be "touch-wheel". Go back and see the original document and compare.
[Ed: Oh sure, all the letters in "screen" and "wheel" are right next to each other, and the author accidentally hit them all in a row, incorrectly.]
Apple reference stirs touch-screen iPod frenzy [u] [Apple Insider via Crunchgear]