If you've been repressing Star Wars fantasies for your entire life because you're a clean cut, no-nonsense kind of guy that doesn't waste his time on silly distractions that can be repressed in the name of productivity, I've got a treat for you. This safety wand and megaphone is like a lightsaber for nerds. Well, wait… all lightsabers are for nerds. This one is for stuffy, repressed nerds.
Now you can show off your authority while secretly pretending you're Luke Skywalker. The tip of the wand is a flashlight, and it can project your voice up to 500 yards. Get in formation, troops!