What better way to keep your USB Pole Dancer safe than a USB Desktop Bouncer? Plug him in and he'll say one of six phrases—all of which are apparently too obscene to list on the website.

What's even cooler less shitty about this USB Bouncer is that he's motion activated, which means you don't need to trigger his phrases, he just spouts them automatically. Honestly, this has to be the worst USB toy we've seen this year. Maybe if we're lucky this guy will take some community theater classes, get an agent and turn into a USB Vin Diesel.

USB Desktop Bouncer [Drinkstuff via Gearlog via uber gizmo]