What do you do if you're sitting in line waiting to pick up your iPhone and suddenly feel the call of nature—eh, Brian? Do you:
a) Pay a student to stand in for you and nip off to the closest McDonalds you can find.
b) Call your intern/girlfriend/deputy editor and make them drop whatever they are doing to take your place whilst you saunter off and relieve yourself.
c) Surreptitiously get your "old man" out and, making sure your MacBook is hiding him from a public indecency charge, irrigate the sidewalk.
d) Flagrantly get your "old man" out and threaten to hose down the guy dressed as a clown who's been bugging you ever since you set up your deck chair in the queue.
e) Channel your inner Jim Morrison and just go for it. If the cops come over, you can tell them you're a performance artist called Pee-ter whose Golden show packed 'em in at last years Burning Man, and that you were just entertaining the crowds.
f) Think, "What would Steve do?" and serenely contemplate your inner nirvana while willing that Gotta Piss feeling to go and bug someone else (preferably the clown guy).
g) Smugly pull out your Roadbag, a $5.40 German-made device that turns your pee to gel thanks to the Polymerk powder contained inside, and go in it—before lobbing it at Krusty with a satisfied smirk.