This is Brando's USB gift set for the ladies. It comes with a mini vacuum cleaner*, a light-up mirror*, a cooling fan (perish the thought that my boss might see me looking a bit sweaty) and a mood light pen holder. Of course, it's in pink. How thoughtful of Brando. There's also a men's version...

You too have a mini vacuum cleaner—how's that for equality?—but instead of the fan and compact mirror, you get a cup warmer (perfect for that steaming mug of coffee your secretary tirelessly brings you each morning), pen holder and an LED light. Each set is $29.95, and it's a f***ing waste of cash that makes me wonder where the human race is going if someone, somewhere is inventing crazy-assed bollocks like this money well spent, IMHO.

*Perfect for bringing out your inner coke monster.

[USB Brando for the Gents and USB Brando for the Laydeez]