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If you feel trapped in time and think the Giz is one big conundrum interconnecting the latest technology with crazy stuff, bouncy boobs and surreal news, then stop taking your pills because you are right. Here are my fave Tuesday stories:

New iMacs! Probably. I wish. Hopefully His Steveness will announce them because I want one for home.
• Apple fixed its biggest security problem with the iPhone. Check the post for updates. And I just got my iPhone, so I am downloading it.
• The iPhone hackers decipher some of the plans for AT&T's DeathStar and they get closer to unlocking the iPhone completely. I live in Spain and I just can't wait to play with my new shiny toy in full.
NASA doesn't want shiny toys from Apple, however. That's why they keep playing with rotting dusty shuttles.
• I liked this cheap gamepad accessory too, only for serious Xbox 360 Gears of War and Halo nutters.
Laser printers can kill without lasers, obviously missing all the fun.
• Some say the iPod Touch is coming next week. I am like, whatever. Frucci is like, "WHERE'S MY 16:9 iPod 6G YOU MOFOS!" I share the feeling. And the words.
Creepy recycled hip-hop bots will haunt you in your dreams. Then beat the pants out of you with a triple-cheese pizza slice.

And my Top 5 favorites:

5. Semi-naked pseudo-Nazi sex bombshells march over Glendale, California.I hate Nazis, but I love these girls. Like me, I'm sure Poland wouldn't mind this army invading them.
4. Crazy Soviet planes. I just can't have enough of these sleek and retro designs.
3. At last, there may be a DeLorean in Marty-wannabes' future.
2. Surgeons finish an operation using the lighting from unexpected cellphone screens. So surreal that it needed the Monty Python in the pic (I can't believe you people didn't digg that!)

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1. And finally the best news yesterday by a parsec: FUTURAMA MOVIE COMING! Start shining your butts.