I don't understand a word of the video because I don't understand the language of surrender, but I don't need to in order to see that the dogs trapped inside of this $30,000 contraption for the four minutes of washing and drying aren't exactly experiencing jouissance. They're dogs, not designer jeans, people. And the guy that climbed inside to show it's safe is probably a plant who loves pain. [Key TV via Spluch]

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