Forget the iPhone, and screw Terminator 4. Everyone who's anyone knows that this week was all about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. There are plenty of mature and dignified ways of welcoming back the good professor. Here are the rest:

  • Resident musicologist Jesus Diaz revealed the top-secret lyrical underpinnings of the Indy theme, which are as safe for awesome as they are not safe for work. Too bad he hated it.
  • Any self-respecting superfan doesn't just see the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull six times. He buys all the official merchandise he can find. Of course there's an official fedora and Hasbro FX whip, which increased Gizmodo workplace efficiency by 4%.
  • And then there's the Crystal Skull projector/homeschooling device, which speaks to your children about real archeology while projecting sort of related shots of melting Nazis and Shia LeBeouf.
  • Remember how the kid down the street always had 10x more Legos than you? Well he's still around and though he's all growed up with a fancy job and girlfriend (not really), he hasn't changed. Not content with the official Kingdom Lego set, some guys with undoubtedly bright futures reenacted the boulder scene from Raiders with the little plastic blocks. 5 million of them.
  • Well, give or take. This photo revealed that the giant boulder actually had a foam core, which really upset at least 17 people. I mean, they smashed some stranger's car with an eight-foot Lego ball — how mad can you be?
  • But it isn't all good for Indy, as he was publicly emasculated on The View. He was informed by a surprised Whoopi Goldberg that Lucas made him "look like a man" and was forced to sit idly through a bunch of chick chatter (hey, I'm down with the whole feminist movement and all, but that just looked painful).

[Indy on Giz] -by John Herrman