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Taco Bell-Flavored Doritos Are Here, As Gyre Widens Beyond Any Possible Hope

Illustration for article titled Taco Bell-Flavored Doritos Are Here, As Gyre Widens Beyond Any Possible Hope

The unholy convergence of Taco Bell and Doritos continued today, as Frito Lay announced that its popular paprika-dusted triangle chips will soon come in a flavor inspired by the Tex-Mex fast food chain. Feel that? That's your colon flinching.


Until now, the Taco Bell-Doritos relationship has flowed reliably in one direction, like a competent sewage system. Doritos Locos Tacos were fine as long as you didn't eat eight of them at once. Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos? Pushing the boundaries of respectability, but at least we saw it coming. Today's announcement, though, blurs the boundaries between the two products in ways nature never intended.


But what will a bag of Taco Bell Doritos taste like, exactly? The AP quotes a Frito-Lay marketing officer as saying they'll be "a combination of Nacho Cheese flavor and taco flavor." Now is as good a time as any to remind you that the capitalization of an ingredient that usually has none is a pretty significant red flag! Also that if you really wanted to make a snack that tasted like Taco Bell, you should probably throw in flavors like Crusty Sweat and Desperation.

Taco Bell Doritos will be available for a limited time this spring. [AP]

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Cool Ranch Doritos taste disgusting. There I said it.