Shocking Stapler

Illustration for article titled Shocking Stapler

Ensure that nobody ever borrows your stapler again with this real-looking Shocking Stapler. It's even colored red like Milton's, which means your co-workers are all the more tempted to grab for it as they drop by unannounced while you're trying to get some work done.

The only downside is that it's not a real stapler, which may actually be an upside since you won't have to worry about staplers flying all over the place when your buddy gets shocked and throws this across the room.

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I had this back in 2003 along with a shocking pen, a shocking computer mouse, a shocking lighter, and a shocking "Sex Book" which would shock anybody who tried to open it. I had a boss who liked to come over and play with things on my desk. Over the course of a matter of days he'd gotten himself shocked by every single one of them. The pen was the best, because you had to grab it and press the button to make the pen work so it required you had a good grip on it before activation. That one actually send spit flying out of his mouth. The lighter sort of had the same effect, but nothing was as powerful as the pen with a fresh set of batteries. Didn't have that job for long.

e have gone numb.