Nike SPARQ Parachute Makes You Run Faster, Eventually

Illustration for article titled Nike SPARQ Parachute Makes You Run Faster, Eventually

The Nike SPARQ Parachute is designed to create drag "to force athletes to push themselves harder to achieve speed" and look like a moron in Central Park. Why would I want more drag as I'm already dragging my feet to the coffee shop to have a cafe au lait, two croissants and one brioche with chocolate nuggets is beyond me. Just $50 and a box of steroids separate you from becoming the next Ben Johnson. And a jump from knowing all the tech specs of this thing:

Maximum drag = 25 lbs of force

Belt accommodates waist sizes 32"- 56"

Durable enough for team training

Floating metal tri-ring reducing belt offers improved chute tracking

Improved heavy duty webbing lead and 2X coated heavy-duty veil fabric provides excellent durability

Comes with carry bag

I bet Brian will be able to use one of these to air-break after snowboarding. [Nike via Machogear]



They should put this on children who are impulsive run-awayers. The kid sees something shiny, and runs for it, press the remote, and swoosh-bam! The chute deploys and the kid is down for the count.