Fantabulous Wood Sound Enhancer Specially Crafted for Rich Morons

Illustration for article titled Fantabulous Wood Sound Enhancer Specially Crafted for Rich Morons

At last, here is the answer for all your high fidelity problems: the Acoustic System Phase Corrector, a group of 11 maple wood blocks that corrects the blurring of phase coherency. You know, that sound problem caused by those pesky pockets of greater energy density happening between the loudspeakers, the floor, and the front wall. Come on. You know the ones. Listen, just spend $1,975 on this and you will get amazing sound, as their product description says:

The Acoustic System Phase Corrector may look like a simple instrument grade maple block but its inner workings are more complex. When you walk around your listening room you will notice pockets of greater energy density. One of these energy pockets occurs between the loudspeakers and is concentrated at the interface between the floor and the front wall. From the listening position the result is a blurring of the phase coherency. The phase corrector, as its name suggests, attempts to correct this phenomenon by disrupting the energy pocket near the floor/front wall interface through a combination of resonance and diffusion. The degree of resonance can be altered by varying the distance between the phase corrector and the front wall.


Obviously, the system doesn't solve the blurry neuron connections of any moron with deep money pockets who actually tries to buy this-hopefully pranky-crap. [Pure Music Group via Boing Boing Gadgets]


hold on.. what if you find one of these "pockets" 2' from the floor and 6' from any wall, what the hell do you do? Hang it on a string?

"Oh pay no attention to the dangling block of wood, they help with the pockets of blurring phase coherency."

I understand the concept of Phase Coherency, but I fail to see how these could correct it and lets face it, the only important place you need your sound to "sound right" is in front of your board.