What you would like it to say about you: I am an important person with an MBA. I make more than you. I have more worth than you. I participate in urgent things that need to be taken care of five minutes ago. People need to get ahold of me ALL THE TIME, even on the toilet.

What it really says about you: You're an adult with attention deficit disorder. You'd rather be emailing with your co-workers—who you don't even like—than spending time with your family.

How you use it: "Yes, I'll have the veal with the...one sec. Hello? Yes, this is he. Yeah. Uh huh. That's not a valid excuse. That's not a valid excuse, Rick. Rick, just do it. Get it done by 7am tomorrow, Rick. Christ, now I need to email David and the partners. Damn it, hurry up and send! This thing is a piece of shit."

Other people who use this phone: