The dreaded Spinning Beachball of Death doesn't really exist in Apple's mobile OS. But shhhh. Download it big here.

In our book, the giant iPod touch joke never gets old. And besides, the jumbo icons almost look better than the iPad's awkward, undersized icon layout. Download it big here.

You ask "why is a bloody hand trying to escape through the iPad's screen?" We ask "why isn't a bloody hand trying to escape through the iPad's screen?" Neat factoid: The photo's subject was an Apple software debugger, captured two days before the iPad launch. Download it big here.

Is the BSoD joke still funny? Probably not. But someone had to make it first so we could put the gag to rest for this generation of product. And besides, we're a bit fond of the classic Windows 9x blue screen—it's like seeing an old friend who used to be fun until he'd randomly punched us in the face. Download it big here. we made two BSoDs—this one based upon the more modern Windows XP, Vista and 7 rendition. Download it big here.

No one will buy this shattered screen gag for more than 3 seconds, but to an otherwise smug fanboy, those 3 seconds will feel like an eternity—likely haunting them for the rest of their life. Download it big here.

If only the iPad supported live wallpapers like Android 2.1, this TV snow background would be truly marvelous. Download it big here.

My iPad has Hulu, Flash and Camera and....VERIZON??? AND MULTITASKING??? Nope. Download it big here.