Have a Bond lover in your life (who doesn't)? Skip the jet packs and dagger shoes this holiday season. Here are 9 semi-practical gifts guaranteed to satisfy the most fervent gadget-crazy spy. Sex puns sold separately.

1. ATN Viper Night Vision Googles, $289
Every spy needs to see in the dark. ATN's Viper goggles are some of the smallest and lightest night vision specs on the market. Use them them hands free (with headband), as a compact monocular, or attached to a camera for all your night-time covert ops. [ATN Corp.]

2. 4-GB USB Flash Drive Cuff Links, $195
Not only will they go perfectly that Brioni Tux, these handsome cufflinks also give you two gigs of flash storage per sleeve. Perfect for absconding with sensitive data or, you know, taking home those TPS reports. [Cufflinks.com]

3. Electronic Spy Camera Shirt, $40
This clever T-Shirt from ThinkGeek features a cartoony Bond lookalike holding a camera up to his face. Its secret? Hidden behind that camera is an actual functioning spy camera! Press a button on the handy pocket remote to secretly snap digital photos. A vibration feedback shutter will confirm you've successfully captured your unsuspecting nude target. [ThinkGeek]

4. Omega Seamaster Planet Ocean, ~$2,960
Worn by Bond in five films, the Seamaster Professional series is as classy as wrist wear gets. Forged from stainless steel and fitted with a sleek black dial, the latest Planet Ocean 600 M (Quantum of Solace), is good to 2,000 feet. Perfect for infiltrating secret lairs and swank parties alike. [Amazon]

5. Shomer–Tec Sap Cap, $29
Leave your PPK at the office? It may not be as deadly as Oddjob's steel-rimmed bowler, but the Shomer-Tec Sap Cap will still get the job done. Tucked inside the back of this unassuming baseball cap is a hidden pouch filled with about a pound of tiny metal balls. A quick thwak is guaranteed to incapacite any and all super villains. [Shomer-Tec]

6. Battelle's Tactical Air Initiated Launch system, $TBA
Discreet? No. Effective. Most definitely. This pneumatic grappling hook can accurately (and silently) fire a titanium hook and Kevlar line 100 feet high and up to sixty feet away. Ideal for sneaking into (and out of) the bedrooms of other sexy spies. [Battelle]

7. Laser Audio Surveillance Kit, £21,150
Perfect the art of eavesdropping with this deluxe Laser Audio Surveillance kit. Point the laser transmitter at any window and you'll be able to covertly listen in on conversations up to 1,640 feet away. Comes with an adjustable noise reduction filter and digital equalizer. Oh, and in case you were wondering, that $33,000 will also buy you personal surveillance training in Germany. [Spycatcheronline]

8. C-Pen 3.5, $200
A portable scanner for your pocket. The C-Pen lets you instantly scan and OCR any printed text by sweeping it across a document. The new Bluetooth enabled version wirelessly transfers your pilfered text directly to your computer. With specialized add-on apps, like text-to-speech and Google translate, the C-Pen puts Qs tea tray scanner to shame. [Ectaco]

9. James Bond Blu-ray 10-Pack, $160
Bond...on Blu-ray! You know you'll be watching them anyway this holiday season. So why not relive Dr. No, Goldfinger and Quantum of Solace in beautiful hi-def? You won't find a better deal for these 10 movies anywhere. [Amazon]

The burning sensation that comes from holiday shopping isn't from rubbing against the unwashed masses at malls: It's trying to pick out presents for everybody on your list. Gizmodo's daily gift guides are the all-natural, non-smelly cure.