For the parents who have obviously forgotten that most children are borderline sociopaths when it comes to teasing one another, this sweater will pretty much guarantee your kid will be bully fodder until he graduates from high school—probably college.
The Seven/Eight Year Math Sweater is hand-knit of machine-washable wool and designed to fit the average 1st or 2nd grader. According to Etsy shop proprietor Amarinalevin HandKnits:
The main body of the sweater is a pattern of adding numbers in block shapes. There are also little x's in black. Circling the bottom in green on a dark blue background are Fibonacci numbers. Also circling the bottom and wrists in dark blue on periwinkle is the symbol pi. The back and front are identical. The sleeves have descending and ascending blocks with the prime numbers. Circling the wrists in green on a dark blue background are the various mathematical functions of add, subtract, multiply, and divide. The neck, wrist, and bottom trim is varying shades of green with blue stripes.
It retails for $130 on the amarinalevin Etsy page. Now, if $130 is too much scratch to annihiliate any sense of self-confidence in your child, you can always go the old-fashioned route and name your son Sue or your daughter Maxwell. [Etsy via Craftzine via Neatorama]