Earlier this month, representing her country from the @sweden Twitter account, Sonja Abrahamsson grabbed her 15 minutes by the balls and gave them an impressive tug. Irreverent, frank, and wildly popular, the 27-year-old mother of two doubled the account's followers with her controversial statements. Now that she's off Twitter duty, Sonja was nice enough to sit down to answer a few questions.
Hey Sonja. Congratulations on, what I think, was an incredibly great week on the internet. I'll admit that I was totally jealous of the trouble you caused. Could you tell a little bit about yourself. We know you grew up in the woods of Sweden and that you shot and skinned bears for meat as a little girl. How did you go from that to becoming the voice of Sweden on Twitter?
I was wolfbackriding while shooting white doves with fire when I got the email from Visitsweden. That's what they do, they send an email, asking you to take a red or a blue pill.
What do you do for a living when you're not the voice of a whole nation?
Not long ago, all I did was smoke cigarettes. Then I decided to quit smoking and I started to drink coffee instead. That makes me have go to the toilet all the time, so now I'm figuring about the next step. Except that I write a blog, a column and sometimes I talk on the radio. I don't do a lot of money. I'm poor.
Did you have a plan when you started tweeting as Sweden? Did you, like, say to yourself "this is a great opportunity to learn more about Jewish people" or was it all stream-of-concsiousness?
My plan was to tweet as I always do. When it comes to Jews, I saw the word "Jew" in my feed somewhere and I started thinking. Some people believe I wasn't thinking, but actually I was. I was thinking about Jews.
You mentioned in your video, which is fantastic, btw, that you've never met a Jew. Which is fair, being Swedish and all. And that you were tweeting out of curiosity. Can you tell me the most interesting thing you've learned about Jews this week? (Leave out the penis thing. We already know about that.)
Now I know kosher isn't trendy furniture and that a lot of Jewish people are happy to answer questions even if CNN says you're the devil. I guess they doesn't trust the CNN. And I saw an episode of Family Guy today, where Lois finds out she's Jewish and they start to live a Jewish life. In that episode they say Jesus was a Jew and I would had found out much more if Peter haven't fucked everything up because his a born Catholic.
To my knowledge, I've never met a Swede. (Unless Thor is Swedish.) I'm not even sure I could tell the difference between a Swede and a Norwegian. Can you tell me how Swedes are better than Norwegians?
Every other man on the streets of Sweden is Thor. But they got other names. Names like Sven, Olof, Rolf, Urban, Lasse, Patrick and Stefan. Norweigans are not exactly Thor but they are just as good as us. We are totally spooning and holding hands with Norway, even though Sweden has this history of bitchslapping and buttfisting Norway.
I'm Portuguese and the Norwegians stole all our sardines. So I hate them. That's not really a question, I just thought it was unfair of me to ask you all of these questions without telling you something about myself. Wanna know anything else about me?
I get confused when you talk about yourself.
Wait, was the chick from Dragon Tattoo Swedish? She was pretty cool. Do you have any tattoos? If so, what are they? I have a bunch. They're drawings my kid did.
Isn't the whole movie from Sweden, written by a Swede? I haven't seen it though. But I've got a tattoo. It has been quite a discussion about my tattoo lately. People say that it might be a Nazi sign tattoo, because they believe I'm an underground Nazi, who's got hidden connections to underground SS-people. They believe I'm living a secret Nazi life, planning to take over Europe. This is because I've got the tattoo "hej hej" in my neck. That means "hello hello". But from a distance it kind of looks like a "SS". That was a mistake though.
In your video, you mention that some people complained that you looked too Aryan (as if someone could change how they look, right?) You flipped your hair (which was admittedly cute) and said, "Well, I guess that's true." I've always felt like you should be proud of who you are. Tell me why you're proud of being Aryan.
When I grew up, I thought my dad was very similar to Hitler. He loved to watch documentaries about WWII. I used to sit behind the sofa and watch them too, sometimes, even if I may have been a little too small. Sometimes it felt like Hitler was my real dad, or if it was the other way around. But my dad didn't have that silly hair and mustache. He was as blonde as one can be, much blonder than me, so I guess it's from him I got my Aryan look.
I don't understand why you got so much shit about Justin Bieber. I don't care for him either. Buddhists (hippie Jews) believe that you're reincarnated in your next life according to how you live your current life. How fucking evil do you think someone had to be to come back as Justin Bieber?
Maybe he wasn't bad at all, maybe he was one of Charles Manson's kids.
You mentioned that you don't have a TV. Which, by the way, was such an American thing to say. Americans, especially vegan Americans (they have gray skin), LOVE telling you they don't have a TV. You don't even have to ask. So why don't you have a TV? Is it because Eurovision is so terrible?
Television sucks the life out of me because all the mindfucks they are delivering. Like this commercial about body lotion for women "in all sizes". In the commercial you see 15 soft skinned women are standing in a line. They are different sizes and they have different skin colors, which the company behind the body lotion obviously is very proud of. These women are kind of dancing on the spot, smiling and laughing, but they are not having a disco, and they are not having conversations, so what the fuck are they doing? They have almost no clothes on, there are no furniture, just space, and the line isn't leading somewhere. I guess I should be happy these women can find happiness and joy against all odds, but I just think it's so stupid I want to cut my own eyes out and throw them on the floor 'cause I can't find the garbage can. It seems to me that most people can handle these things, they say it's just a commercial and nothing serious, but I never want that kind of shit to feel normal to watch.
Are you going to get one of the new IKEA TVs? And how big a discount do you get at IKEA?
The only time I hung around IKEA was when my daughter was new born and I was only able to breastfeed her while lying down. We spent her first eight months breast-feeding my baby in every bed IKEA had available. But we never bought anything.
Now that your week as the official voice of Sweden is over (the new person is boring, btw.) what do you plan to do with your newfound fame?
I have no idea. Any suggestions?
You mentioned in your video that you're never going outside Sweden, which made me sad. If you ever change your mind you have to come to San Francisco. I want to hang out. Promise?
We would totally hang out, and we could do such funny youtube clips together, 'cause I bet you are a good actor.
Mike Monteiro is an immigrant who came to America to steal your jobs, tell you what you were doing wrong and demand better from you. He runs Mule Design and wrote Design Is a Job, which you should read. You can find him on Twitter at @Mike_FTW.