Phew! Russians Regain Control of Rogue Lizard-Sex Satellite

According the Russian space agency Roscosmos, control of the Russia's lust lost lizard-sex satellite was regained on Saturday night, of all times. Surely the love-struck lizards were being of no help.

Russian officials estimate that 90 percent of the experiments on the satellite should still be sitting pretty, and that includes the five randy geckos sent up there to get busy in microgravity. Had the satellite continued on course, it would have stayed in orbit for two months longer than intended. And as Ars Technica points out, hungry geckos have a bad habit of eating each other, and that would have been in addition to certain asphyxiation.


Kinky. [RT via Ars Technica]

Image via Wei Ming/Shutterstock

A Russian Lizard Sex Satellite Is Out of Control in Orbit

It began as just another chapter in humanity's ongoing fascination of sending weird shit into space, then things spiraled out of control. Right now an orbital satellite filled with geckos flies more than 200 miles above our heads. But this isn't a slapstick preamble to some clever car insurance commercial, these geckos are in space for only one thing: To. Get. It. On.

A Russian Foton-M4 research satellite, which launched last Saturday, held a precious payload of five geckos as well as some plants and a few insects. The original mission was to observe these creatures doing it to better understand mating in zero-gravity. Then after a few orbits, the satellite stopped responding. Al Jazeera America reports a glitch in the satellite's engine is the problem. The Russian gecko sex satellite has gone rogue.


These reptilian cosmonauts are part of an experiment conducted by Russia's Institute of Medico-Biological Problems, and depending on your point of view, the experiment is kind of a success. The scientists are still able to get their fill of reptilian smut since most of the onboard equipment is operating normally, and the Huffington Post says the four females and one male have been busy.

Mission control is rushing to find a solution to re-establish connection, but for now, these lust-filled lizards are lost in space. [Al Jezeera America]

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