An example of the sneaky smuggling method. Original Photo: Wikipedia

The debate over building a wall on the border between the United States and Mexico has generally been ridiculous. But one congressman tells CNN that we should consider a dangerous possibility: weak borders open us up to nuclear weapons being smuggled in disguised as harmless bales of weed.


Rep. Trent Franks (R-AZ) hails from Arizona, a state known for having the lowest college graduation rates and the highest student loan default rates in the nation. Today, he stopped by CNN to explain why he supports building a wall on the border despite his claim to be a fiscal conservative and the fact that the wall is estimated to carry a $25 billion dollar price tag.

Speaking with Brianna Keilar, here’s what the congressman had to say:

“The reality, Brianna, is that we have to measure all of the costs, ancillary and otherwise, and make the best decision that we can. But I can suggest to you that there are national security implications here for a porous border. Ya know, we sometimes used to make the point that if someone wanted to smuggle in a dangerous weapon, even a nuclear weapon, into America, how would they do it? And the suggestion was made, ‘Well, we’ll simply hide it in a bale of marijuana.’ So the implications of a porous border have national security dimensions that are very significant and that bear a lot of conversation when we talk about costs.”


It’s unclear who Franks is saying suggested, “Well, we’ll simply hide it in a bale of marijuana.” If it was a smuggler, we’re guessing they’re doing a long bid for trying to bring a shit-ton of illegal weed into the United States. But when he says, “we sometimes used to make the point,” he’s using the royal “we.” Talking Points Memo observes that Franks made a speech on the floor of the U.S. House back in 2012. Here’s what he said:

“Imagine for a moment, Mr. Speaker, the scenario of Hezbollah, one of Iran’s terrorist proxies, gaining possession of just two nuclear warheads and bringing them across the border into the United States concealed, say, in bales of marijuana, then transporting them into the heart of two different, crowded, unnamed cities. And then calling and telling the White House exactly when and where the first one will be detonated, and then following through 60 seconds later.”


Yes, just imagine. Also, imagine these masterminds smuggling in sarin gas disguised as a cargo crate filled with mad cow disease-riddled cattle. Or, imagine arms shipments pouring across the border, entirely incognito because they simply appeared to be the reanimated corpse of Osama bin Laden.


Franks’ state pays teachers the lowest salaries in the country, and $25 billion dollars could certainly do some good in our nation’s schools. But unfortunately people like Franks are too busy fighting phantoms in their minds to address any legitimate problems.

The fact is, residents of Arizona should be more worried about Steven Seagal accidentally driving a tank into their living room and killing their puppy than smugglers bringing a cheeba-covered nuke across their border.


Watch Franks’ paranoid delusions pour out of his face hole in the video clip below:

[Talking Points Memo]


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