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All The Ways Apple Will Probably Mess Up Its Car

Much as Apple's successes are celebrated in breathless blog posts and barely believable earnings reports, it still screws up as much as any company. Maps. Crappy battery life. Forcibly inserting Bono into your life. This (quite fake) ad details how those mistakes would apply to the rumored Apple automobile.


The Apple Car rumor — which, to be clear, is still a rumor, and basically relies on a few speculative sources and the fact that someone at Apple bolted cameras to a minivan — says that Apple will launch some kind of car by 2020. IF the speculative reports are true, this is a fairly good guess at how Apple might fuck up. And even if it's all made up, it's always healthy to poke fun at bald guys with foreign accents. [YouTube]

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In an attempt to challenge the conventional wisdom and disrupt the car driving experience the apple car will follow the same design choice that they made with the mouse.

Instead of having an accelerator and a brake pedal. The Apple car will have a single contextually sensitive pedal. The car will know whether you want to stop or go based on where and how you depress the pedal.

Thankfully this will introduce a self selecting pressure on the cult of Apple, reducing that population significantly before the recall can be in stated.