Jeff Bezos Dick Rocket Goes on Sale for $69 in Scale Model Form

Image: Estes

Model rocket maker Estes is releasing a 1/66th scale model of the Blue Origin rocket New Shepard, meaning that anyone will be able to launch their own version of the spacecraft 400 feet into the air. But if you’re wondering, yes, the Estes version looks exactly like the real version. Which is to say that it looks like a dick.

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Amazon billionaire Jeff Bezos launched to the edge space on the New Shepard last month, reaching 62 miles above sea level, besting fellow billionaire Richard Branson’s altitude of 53 miles. Branson’s rocket, however, didn’t look like a cock.

The new Estes rocket alone retails for $69.99, but if you don’t already have a launch pad you’re going to need to splurge for the starter set, which includes the rocket, a launch pad, an electronic launch controller, a pack of engines, and recovery wadding. Just make sure not to shoot your wad too early, a problem that can really limit your enjoyment of the rocket—a rocket that looks like a human schlong.

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The Estes website says you’ll need a C6-3 or C6-5 engine pack for a proper launch:

The Estes New Shepard is a 1/66th scale model of the Blue Origin New Shepard launch vehicle. It flies to altitude on a C6-3 or C6-5, and is capable of as much as 400 ft. It too, after deploying the capsule, falls through the atmosphere under a large parachute to gently touch down. Like the Blue Origin New Shepard, you can fly the Estes New Shepard again and again.

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The promotional video, which is available on YouTube, cuts between the model rocket and real footage from the New Shepard’s launch with Bezos. Which, again, unfortunately looks like male genitalia.

As one YouTube commenter put it, “My sister has one of them in her drawer.”

“Estes is proud to partner with Blue Origin to provide a piece of history that inspires kids to dream and imagine. The ready to fly New Shepard model is a perfect addition to your office shelf or launch it to recreate the spaceflight for yourself!” the company’s website explains.

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The Blue Origin rocket doesn’t officially go on sale until November but pre-orders are available now. There’s a limit of five per customers, which probably means they’re expecting huge demand for this one. If you’re looking to get one by Christmas it’s probably best to get in now, if we had to guess. These pecker rockets are going to be flying off the shelves.

Every rocket will include a postcard from Bezos’s organization, the Club For the Future, where people can send in their own vision of the future. The postcards will be taken aboard a Blue Origin flight and returned to the sender with the message “Flown to Space” stamped on it, according to a press release.

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Penis. It looks like a penis.

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