First, man discovered fire. Then a bunch of random stupid unimportant stuff happened. Then, man discovered pizza delivery. And Serious Eats takes it from there, with a fantastic rundown of the evolution of man's greatest achievement in food transportation.
People—boring people!—suggest carrying your laptop in a scuffed duffle bag, because laptop bags are so obviously full of goodies worth nicking. To a hungry thief, a pizza box carried under-arm would prove even more tantalising.