Folks might think St. Nick's present-delivery service is a pretty cushy gig, seeing as how the man only works one night a year, but they fail to realize the numerous and diverse ways that job can kill.

Remember kids, you should never judge a book by its cover. Even if that cover looks like a parasitic, towel-eating monster that's taken up residence in your anus.

Hey man, you ever ridden a bicycle? You ever ridden a bicycle on LSD?

How do the animals we eat perceive their own existence and what do they think of us? This experimental short film from Shunsaku.H attempts to find out.

Why would you use your own child in a knife-throwing act? Why wouldn't you use your own child in a knife-throwing act? Everybody knows that flesh wounds build character.

Hey man, remember that time in Berlin in '71 when Deep Purple just like totally blew the minds of all those German kids by playing Into the Fire? Here, this should help.

Remember kids, if your gums are bleeding when you finish flossing, you're either pushing too hard or not hard enough.

Few people realize that Debbie Harry's iconic disco anthem contains a hidden lesson: If you can't find the perfect person to love, just clone yourself and boom—problem solved.

Like a vision from Enya's fevered dreams, this abstract AV production mixes ballet, stock nature documentary footage, and adult contemporary techno into a psychedelic magic carpet that even your parents can ride.

For those about to not rock but instead watch other people do so, we salute you!

This film written and directed by Yann Pineill is a palindromic investigation of memory and emotion. That is, the second verse is same as the first—but backwards.

So apparently there's a world record for bungee jumping with the base of the bungee cord embedded into the flesh of your back. To set it, you've just got to top this guy's record-setting 170 meter base jump and not have the hooks tear out.

Happy 2014 everybody! Now take a tip from famed poet Charles Bukowski and stop half-assing your way through those new years resolutions.

LSD is a hell of a drug.

Check out this wildly animated history of, I think, human history? I dunno, my Spanish is pretty rusty.

I honestly can't tell if this is a joke or the next Rebecca Black. Please let it be both.

It ain't easy living in the big city—escpecially when you're a floating yellow orb with an alcoholic girlfriend.

Merry Christmas you filthy animals.

'Tis the season for family gatherings, home cooked meals, and drugs, apparently. All of the drugs, all at the same time by the looks of things.

If the eyes are a window to the soul, are cataracts their Venetian blinds?