"The new Chipotle ad is amazing," says Gawker's Neetzan Zimmerman. When asked about the ad, Wired writer, self-professed burrito connoisseur and dedicated Chipotle hater Mat Honan replied: "I'm going straight to Godwin here, because you know who else had good ads?"

This is the oldest recording of an American voice and the first-ever recording of a musical performance. Recorded by a Thomas Edison-invented phonograph in 1878, the audio recording (which lasts 78 seconds) is pretty much "as far back as we can go" in terms of the history of recorded sound.

Just grab a few rolls of Reynolds and turn any cubicle into the Lunar Module. Extra bonus: Protection against radio-frequency snooping. Extra extra bonus: Everywhere is a good place to place your sandwich. [Stuff I Stole From the Internet]

I just hope this is not the guy in charge of the United States Cyber Command.

First of all, it's not a tin foil hat. It's a tin foil safety tuque. Second of all, it's finally been scientifically proven that it guards your brain from a wireless modem's signals. The jury's still out on mind control.

When a clearly sane man couldn't convince his wife to line their home in tinfoil, he moved his most prized possessions into the garage.

I'm writing this from under the sofa. Because they're watching me, you know. The Feds. They are - I can feel it in my toenails, which haven't stopped tingling all day. And until I finish knitting my tinfoil bikini and matching peek-a-boo balaclava, I'm not leaving my hiding place. It might be different if I had $350,…