The Shiniest Stories on io9 Last Week

Illustration for article titled The Shiniest Stories on io9 Last Week

Too busy robbing delis dressed as Spider-Man all week? Don't worry — we've created a collection of the week's best stories for your pleasure.

  • Welcome To The Summer Of White Guilt

    As we lurch into the slow-motion hysteria of the summer election season, movies aren't serving up the pure escapist crack we depend on them for. Instead, almost every movie stars a tormented Gen-X or Baby Boomer white guy, who's trying to atone for using his power to make the world a worse place. Welcome to the summer of guilt.

  • Why Are We Pleased That Prince Caspian Is A Flop?

    It's science fiction 2, fantasy 0, at least at the movies. Prince Caspian only wishes he had a fraction of Iron Man's box-office magic, and Disney CEO Robert Iger has been reduced to going around making excuses for its floppitude.
  • New Japanese Trailer For Machine Girl Is Full Of Bloody Goodness

    The sexy Asian ladies of The Machine Girl show us how to kick ninja ass with heavy weaponry and loads of screaming. The movie makes its US debut this week at the SF Indie Fest.
  • First Look at New, Light-Saturated Gotham City in Batman Anime

    It's a slightly different Gotham city in the direct-to-DVD animated movie Batman: Gotham Knight. The city proves it deserves to be name-checked in the DVD's title, with some startling vistas including new and stranger gargoyles, weird searchlights and even a giant ferris wheel.
  • Grimy Viking-Monster Battle Movie Still Has No U.S. Release Date

    New stills from Outlander showcase its awesome mix of Viking regalia, space armor and dirt. This saga about vikings fighting a space monster, starring Jim Caviezel, just debuted at Cannes and has a release date in France and Russia, but the U.S. release date remains shrouded in mystery.
  • A Genetic Mutation That Causes Humans to Walk on All Fours

    In 2005, scientists discovered a few families in Hungary where some of the adults only walked on all fours. Few understood the causes of this rare condition, called Unertan syndrome.
  • When Humans Punch Aliens: The Video Remix

    Sure, we come in peace and all that. But sometimes, when we encounter alien life forms, the only way we can communicate is by using our built-in universal translators: the ones with five knuckles and a thumb.
  • Five Reasons Why Aliens Will Make Contact with the Japanese First

    If aliens decide to make contact with Earthlings, they'll probably want to contact the Japanese using prime numbers and laser pulses. Call me biased (I was born and raised in Japan), but I think there is a really good possibility that this will be the case (and so does the guy who writes alien messages for SETI).
  • Where Are My Bioengineered Ecologies?

    Are scientists will be both ready and able to consider artificially-induced emergent biological properties - in other words, terraforming. Let me take you on a tour of today's state-of-the-art in this emerging field.
  • The Orgasm That Blew Up A Computer [Very NSFW]

    Desiree Cousteau has an orgasm so massive, it makes the punch cards fly out of the 1970s-style computer she's hooked up to, in this bizarre sequence from 1980's Randy The Electric Lady. Randy visits a sex institute because she's never had an orgasm - so, of course, they gas her and hypnotize her with weird goggles, and then study her responses via computer.