The Shiniest Stories On io9 Last Week

Illustration for article titled The Shiniest Stories On io9 Last Week

Too busy building your Liberal dystopia? Don't worry, we've compiled a list of the best stories of the week, just for you.Best Future Dystopias Where The Liberals Have Won While the Republican Party was gathering in St. Paul, to put forth its vision of the future. And over the past few days, there might have been talk of horrendous futures that could take shape if gormless liberals were allowed to run the show. Which makes us wonder: what does science fiction, the literature of the future, have to say about liberal-run dystopias? And it turns out, there are plenty of horrendous futures blighted by the heavy hands of our zinfandel-spitting liberal elites. Here are the scifi stories John McCain should mention in his acceptance speech. What The Dark Knight's $500 Million Means It's finally happened: The Dark Knight broke the $500 million barrier this weekend like a giant man in a well-armored, bat-themed outfit smashing through a skylight that just happens to be well-placed above a crime in progress. But what does that actually mean in the real world? We consider some possible implications. A First Look At Dragonball's Live-Action Lord Piccolo For months, Dragonball fans have worried over the live-action recreation of the demon Lord Piccolo. Will he be green? Will he be all CG? Will it look like a dude in a mask? Dragonball stills have leaked, answering all of your pressing Piccolo questions. And unfortunately, I'm left a little bewildered by the whole look. The man with the cheek bones of steel, James Marsters, layers on the prosthetics to create the character Piccolo and looks pretty bad ass for another world's demon, but there are still a few questions I'm going to need answered. Cleavagefield Puts J.J. Abrams' Shaky Cam To Better Use If there was one thing missing from J.J. Abrams' monster movie Cloverfield, I would have to say it was cleavage. Forget the amazing CG parasite tunnel bugs, the crumbling buildings and aerial shots of a monster destroying New York, director Jim Wynorski uses his shaky-cam to film a group of well-endowed ladies getting chased about by Clovey himself in the spoofy erotic remix of Cleavagefield. Personally, I Preferred Airlock As A VP Choice Yes, yes, we get it already: the Republican Prez/Veep ticket looks just like Colonel Tigh and President Roslin from Battlestar Galactica. In what is either a sign that BSG has achieved cultural critical mass or that at least one of the two Republican nominees to office is actually an alcoholic robot, the similarities between the two pairs seemed to be one of the most common commentaries about McCain's choice of Sarah Palin for Vice President yesterday. We trace the limited lifespan of this meme. What's Missing From Edward Norton's Incredible Hulk? It's official: there's no director's cut of The Incredible Hulk coming to DVD, at least not any time soon. Even though star and scriptwriter Ed Norton complained bitterly about all the vital material that was cut from the film, we're not getting to see the version he wanted us to watch. (Instead, there'll be 14 minutes of deleted scenes on the regular DVD, half an hour on the special edition, and 43 minutes on the Blu-Ray.) But just what was in Norton's Hulk-sized version that didn't make it into the theatrical release? We read Norton's script and found out. Five Scifi Cycles To Adore We've given it a lot of thought, and come up with the only possible explanation for why The Dark Knight was such a big hit: The Bat-Pod. From Easy Rider to Ghost Rider, theatergoers have been going wild about tight butts on hot hogs for years, and Batman's sweet ride is just the latest to make those cash registers sing. With that in mind, we'd like to suggest five more motorcycles that Hollywood should consider taking a(nother) look at. Aaron Eckhart Spills Dark Knight 3 Details Amidst wild rumors for Dark Knight 3's casting process (think Cher as Catwoman), actor Aaron "Two Face" Eckhart gave us some bat-closure on a few of the many bat-rumors. So are we going to see the former Gotham City DA's pretty deformed mug again? Dark Knight spoilers ahead. Where Is My Cure for Cancer? How about an article on the current cutting edge cancer research/treatments? Is there anything out there that is promising? Will there be a cure in our lifetimes? Our Biogeek answers your science questions. Fall TV's Biggest Face-Offs The biggest television battles this fall won't be between a girl robot and a guy robot over the future of humanity - instead, they'll be between competing TV shows, struggling for a crucial slice of your eyeballs. In some cases, shows are battling in the same time-slot for the all-important live viewing audience. In others, two way-too-similar shows are fighting to be the one that survives. And in one case, a show is fighting to improve over its own lackluster second season. Which shows will triumph, and which will fail? Our predictions below, with a few small spoilers Why Not Let Robots Take The Strain? If there's one thing that science fiction has taught us, it's that technology exists to create machines that will not only do our jobs for us, but do so with comfortingly human characteristics. We think that it's time to salute some of the brave fictional mechanoids that make future humanity much, much lazier.