I hate pacus. Look at those bastards' teeth. They look like they have been retrofitted with four lines of human teeth, all ready to bite the testicles of any men swimming naked in a lake or river. Nobody is safe, my friends: The pacu was a native of the Amazon and Orinoco rivers, but now it's taking over the world.

The latest sighting has been in New Jersey, the Huffington Post reports:

[A] large Pacu has been found in northern New Jersey, just more than 10 miles outside New York City.

Retired bus driver Tom Boylan hooked a 10-inch-long Pacu on Saturday at Third Ward Veteran's Memorial Park in Passaic, N.J., according to The Bergen Record, which posted a photo of the fish.


Other reported sightings go as far as France, Denmark, Sweden and New Guinea. In the United States, pacus have been reported in wild waters in these states:

Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Georgia, Iowa, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky , Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota,Missouri, Missouri, Nebraska New, Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Texas, Utah, Washington, Wisconsin and Wyoming.

I, for one, don't welcome our new testicle-eating overlords.

Taking over America and Europe


It can really hurt you but it's not as bad as piranhas