Today's lonely man who hangs around strip clubs wants a lot more than to see some skin and have a drink or three. He wants to have an orgasm from a stripper rubbing herself on his crotch. But this is apparently painful and unsightly, not to mention gross and pathetic, so please welcome the new "Liquid Lapdance" undergarment for gentlemen.

Here, in the NSFW creep language of a strip club aficionado, is an apparent real review of the Liquid Lapdance panty—yes they are basically rubber panties—and how it performs under pressure, so to speak:

The pants basically look like a bikini and have a big pouch in front to put your dick and possibly balls. Wasn't so sure if you are supposed to put your balls and dick in the pouch. I tried doing that and it felt a little cramped, was worried the dancer would crush my balls if they were stuck in the pouch, maybe that would work, but was afraid to try it that way, so I just left my dick in, with the balls hanging out. It worked pretty good. The The lube works well with the pouch as it slides very easily up and down your cock during the dance and feels really really good, that is definitely the biggest plus with these pants Another plus is you don't have that raw dick feeling after getting 3 or 4 dances with your pants or underwear rubbing up and down on your cock. Of course the pouch nicely prevents in leakage onto the dancer in event of an eruption which was also a big plus. The one downside I can see to these pants though is what happens if you get a girl that wants to put her hands down your pants and grab your cock. WTF will she think when she sees those crazy looking pants and the coc

k lubed up? lol. not sure how often I'll wear these, but again will say the dances did feel good with them on + the liquid lube on the cock.

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"It worked pretty good."

Also the best thing about Liquid Lapdance is that if you're a dude who likes getting orgasms at the strip club while your wife or girlfriend sits home crying about the huge mistake she made, the company will send your disposable strip-club orgasm panties in a box that says "European Penis Bath."

You know, so she won't be angry or suspicious.

European Penis Bath.

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