After decades of cavorting with human women — and occasionally being brainwashed into making pornos with superhuman gals — Superman has found a cervix hardy enough to withstand his ballistic Kryptonian seed. In next week's issue of Justice League, Superman and Wonder Woman will officially become the DC Universe's new power couple. Commence the atmospheric diddling!
Speaking with Entertainment Weekly, Justice League writer Geoff Johns revealed that "this is the new status quo" for the two iconic heroes. Where's Lois Lane? Her marriage to Superman was annulled when reality was rewritten, which is the easiest way to weasel your way out of a prenuptial agreement in a comic book universe.
Johns also claimed that many people will have a lot to say about these heroes shacking up, presumably — if the cover at left is to be believed — because they're orbiting the Earth as a star-spangled beast with two backs, their supersonic coitus destroying satellites, flocks of geese, and weather balloons. This story hits next Wednesday, August 29 in Justice League #12. Hopefully this will go better than that time Maxima, an alien warrior, became a supervillain because Superman refused to act as a big blue turkey baster.
BONUS: io9 commenter Simon DelMonte reminds us of this panel from the classic 1985 Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons story, "For The Man Who Has Everything." My favorite part? Batman and Robin twiddling their thumbs in the background.