What happens when a 200-ton boulder slides onto the road, completely blocking traffic? Well, absent Paul Bunyan, you have to blow that shit up, just to show Nature who’s boss. Which is precisely what the Oregon Department of Transportation did yesterday near the small town of Glide.
The Oregonian posted video footage of the explosion on YouTube. And there’s something deeply satisfying about watching this enormous boulder crumble to bits. Take that, you stupid fuckin’ rock.
It just goes to show that when Americans put their minds to it, they can blow up practically anything. It doesn’t matter if you’re an obnoxious boulder in the road or a whiny bird in the sky or a smarmy fish in the ocean. There is nowhere to hide. We will blow the shit out of you.
What, you think you’re better than us, Nature? Well, you’re not. And we’ve got the fucking explosives to prove it.
Hopefully this boulder’s friends took this as a lesson that we will not be intimidated by their rock-like ways. Humans 1, Rocks 0. What do we blow up next?
Correction: This post originally misstated the name of the town where this rock was shown who’s boss. This piece of shit boulder was fucked up near Glide, Oregon, not Gilde, Oregon, which does not exist. Gizmodo regrets the error, but that rock can still go fuck itself.